Anthology of DIP
by Xilex90
Summary: A series of prompt short-stories involving he pairing of Damien and Pip
1. Chapter 1

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories I posted on my dA account Xilex90 with pictures that illustrate part of the scene. I decided to post them on my Fanfic account in hopes they might become popular here too.

I hope you guys enjoy them.

I would Like to add that after these initial ones, I will accept prompts, and write a DIP based on that.^^ so go nuts.

-MMFG

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

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><p><strong><span>1. What REALLY Happened...<span>Part One.**

"They use to make fun of the fat kid a lot too...But now I think they like him because he picks on me" Pip said, casually as Damien inquired about Pips, shall we say, unpopularity with the other Children.

Damien's eyes lit up as if a lightbulb had gone off in his head. He turned to the brit, his red eyes glinting with evil, "Pip, how'd you like to get back at those assholes?"

Pip tilted his head, "Get back at them, Damien?"

"Yeah, make them pay for treating us like crap."

"That sounds nice, but how would we do that?"

Damien "hmm'd"

That was a good question...

Pip scratched his chin. He gasped as a lightbulb ofhis own lightbulb went off.

"I've got it! You like to set things on fire, right?"

"Yes."

"How about we go to the party and you act like you want them to be your freinds by setting me on fire or blowing me up or something to that effect..." He paused, looking at Damien to see if he followed. Damien nodded f"Yes..."

"After that, they'll think you're cool and let you into the party. Then, When Eric is busy with his presents, you could sabotage all his birthday treats somehow so everyone will get sick and never want to go to his parties ever again!"

Damien blinked.

Pip looked away, "Of course...we don't HAVE to do it, if you don't want to..."

Damien gave a pleased smirk, " Are you kidding? It's brilliant, Pip! I didn't know you could even think up something that evil..."

Pip adjusted his cap and kicked his legs in a carefree manner, looking proud of himself at Damien's praise. "Well, I'm not as innocent as people think... I may be an optimistic and a gentleman, but I'm still human and once in a while I like to play a little dirty... Say, have I told you about back home in England when I fought Mrs. Havisham?"

"No" Damien said.

"Oh, well, I'll tell you later." Pip said, standing, "Now let's go ruin Eric's party!"

Damien smiled wickedly, "Yes...lets..."

**2. What REALLY Happened...Part Two**

Pip sat on the sidewalk, waiting quietly as Damien strode down the street, coming back from his dad's fight with Jesus

"So Damien, how'd it go?"

"Just as planned." Damien said in a bored manner, "Dad took a dive, and everyone in this lame town just lost a crap-load of money."

"I feel a bit bad for the towns-people, but well done on your father's success Damien!" He said as Damien took a seat beside him. He sighed, "I wish our plan had gone that well..."

Damien frowned, "I know. It's all the stupid Kyle guy's fault for pissing him off," Damien grumbled.

Pip patted his back, giving an encouraging smile "It's okay, though. Not all evil plans work out the way you want them too...but everyone still had a bad time and that's what counts, isn't it ?"

"I guess..."

Pip nodded, "Oh! Damien, that reminds me..."

"Yeah?"

"How come when you blew me up eariler it didn't hurt? It actualy felt pretty good. Like that tingly feeling you get on a roller coaster."

Damien rolled his eyes, "You think I'd blow up the one person in this town I actualy_ like_without some protection?"

Pip's mouth quirked up a little, "You...you like me?"

"Of course I like you, why else would I hang out with you?" Damien asked, rolling his eyes. "You're the only one here that doesn't hate me just because I'm the anti-christ."

Pip's mouth curled up in a smile, "So, does that make us...freinds Damien?"

Damien scoffed at the notion "I am the son of Satan, I don't have no need for freinds" he asserted, " But I could always use a consort."

"What's a consort?"

"In the simplest of terms it's like a partnership...only _**I**_ would be in charge and you would have to do as I say."

"That works for me" Pip said smiling.

Damien slowly returned the smile, not having expected Pip to accept his offer.

They both sat there for a few moments, staring into space. "Let's go watch fat boy eat himself stupid on all that poisoned food" Damien said standing and brushing himself off.

Pip also stood hurrying to catch up with him as Damien started walking.

"Righto, Damien!"

**3. Snicker**

Pip glanced up at his black-clad master as Mr. Garison blathered away on the metric system, something Pip knew already, being British, and was only half-listening to as a result. It was clear that Damien was bored. And when he was bored he got annoyed, and when he was annoyed, he got angry. And when he got angry, he set things on fire and got in trouble.

Pip decided to interviene before it got to that point. He leaned forward a bit, gently nudging Damien with the eraser of his pencil.

"Psst...Damien?"

The anti-christ turned to his consort, his expression a dead give away that he was already starting to get annoyed "What is it?"

Pip cleared his throat softly, "I wanted to tell you a...dirty religious joke I heard last night, since Mr. Garison's lecture isn't that interesting today."

Damien decided anything was better than listening to the teacher drone. And the idea that Pip knew a dirty RELIGIOUS joke peaked his interest. He nodded, "Go on."

Pip cleared his throat "Alright then..." he inhaled deeply.

_"Three couples want to join a church: the long married George and Annie Benson, the newlywed James and Ashly Sanchez, and the yet-unwed Charlie Marks and Dana Humphries. They all talk to the pastor of the church to see what must be done to join._

He says, "You must go without sex for three weeks." Each couple agrees..."

Here he paused as Cartman looked over at them, "What are you fags whispering about?"

Damien glared. "None of your business fat-ass." He turned to Pip, "Ignore him, tell me the rest of the joke."

Pip nodded and continued

_"well, three weeks later, all the couples return. The pastor says to the Bensons "How did you do?"_

"Oh, Father," they reply, "we did fine. We've been married for twenty years! We're used to going without sex."

"Very good," says the father. "Welcome to my church." He then asks the Sanchez's how they did.

"It was kind of hard, Father." said James "We've gone up to two weeks without it, but never three... Somehow, we managed, though." He said proudly.

"Good, welcome to my church," says the preist. He finally turns to the third couple."Well? How did you do?"

"Well," Charlie, answered, "we were doing fine up until this morning. We were at breakfast, and Dana bent over to pick up her napkin, and I just couldn't help but take her right there on the table."

"I'm sorry," says the pastor, looking disapointed. " But You are no longer allowed in my church."

"Oh, that's okay," Dana chirped, smiling brightly. "We're not allowed at that restaurant anymore, either!"

Damien turned back around in his desk quickly, clenching his hands into fists and closing his eyes as he faught the urge to burst out laughing in the middle of class. Nevertheless, letting out some VERY loud snickers...

Pip gave a pleased smile as his master tried to conceal his laughter. Damien was looking much better now...

**4. Wrath**

Pip and Damien walked along the playground, talking. Pip was finally telling him the story about how he'd saved his ex-girlfriend, Estella, from her evil mother, Mrs. Havisham, and her genesis device.

"...And so Pocket and the others and I burst in the door and I angrily declared 'Not so fast, you ugly ancient bitch!' "

Damien smirked, "You did not..."

"I bloody well did," he beamed, delighting in the memory of one of his proudest moments. "But then Mrs. Havisham sic'd her robot monkeys on us and-"

_::SMACK!::_

Pip let out a yelp of pain as a football tossed across the playground collided with his jaw, knocking him to the ground.

Damien knelt beside him, "Pip! Are you alright?"

Pip stood, brushing the snow off his clothes with his left hand as he cradled his jaw with his right, "I-I th-think so Damien..." he said, fighting back tears from the pain in his jaw. The anti-christ frowned. He reache up and pulled his hand away. A large purplish bruise was already forming on his cheek from the impact.

"You're hurt."

Catching the sound of laughter, Damien and Pip looked over at the merry-go-round a few yards away. Craig and Token were high-fiveing each other.

"Sweet throw Craig, you totally nailed the British kid!" Token said, grinning.

"Yeah, did you see the way he fell over? Classic!"

Damien grit his teeth in anger, the offending football bursting into flames at his feet.

"Infidels! How dare you harm MY consort? Feel my wrath!" He declared, pointing his finger at them and firing a fire-ball towards the asailents

They just barely managed to dodge the attack, by jumping out of the way, The fireball struk the metal, causing the entire merry-go-round to go up in flames as they ran away, screaming.

Pip just watched as his master 'punished' the duo that had injured him. Honestly, he was long use to the students here taunting and injuring him, and he'd gotten much worse than a football to the face...

But all the same...it was nice to have someone who'd stand up for him, even when it wasn't necessary...

000ooo000

Damien, satisfied that the idiots that had dared to cross him had been delt with-(they were now in the nurses office getting treated for [minor] burns)-walked backover to Pip. "That'll teach those fools to think twice before crossing ME!" he said, "How's your jaw?"

Pip forced his typical carefree smile"It still hurts, but I'm sure tomarrow it'll be right as rain!"

Damien gave Pip a look and raised his hand, pointing at him. A cold, tingling sensation came over Pip, making him "Ooh!" in surprise. After a moment it passed and Damien lowed his hand, "How about now?"

Pip touched his cheek lightly. It was a bit swollen, and still bruised, but the pain had eased to a dull throb.

"It's fine now! Just a little sore. Thank you ever so much Damien!" he said happily.

"No problem..."

Pip couldn't help but smile as Damien's usualy dark and broody expression softened into a freindly smile.

"Finish telling me that story about Mrs. Havisham." Damien half-ordered as the two made their way over to the swings, which had become empty very quickly when the other kids saw the anti-christ approaching.

Pip nodded "Right...Where was I, Damien?"

"Robot monkeys" he reminded as he climbed into one of the swings.

"Oh, yes, of course..." he said, giving his master a starting push before climbing into his own swing and kicking his feet to get going.

"Mrs. Havisham had sic'd her robot monkeys on us as she turned on her genesis device, so I told Pocket to keep Estella's other boyfreinds from crying..."

**5. Rectus...Dominus...**

Pip walked alongside Damien as they walked an eager look on his face. "I say Damien; it was quite nice of you to invite me over to your house for a sleep-over!"

Damien shrugged, "Well you're house sucks. Last time I came over _they_poured holy water all over me and got my stuff wet."

Pip sighed, remembering the incident. "I'm dreadfully sorry about that...My step parents aren't very open minded."

"Whatever," He said turning into the empty lot surrounded by the wooden fence where the fair was held during the summer.

"Why did we stop here, Damien?" Pip asked as Damien stopped and looked around.

"I live in Hell, remember? I have to summon a portal and this place has lots of space."

Pip's eyes widened a fraction. "O-oh, I see..."

Damien looked over his shoulder at him as knelt and made some markings in the snow "You're not **scared**are you Pip?"

"Oh, me? O-of course not! Heh-heh..." Pip said, laughing nervously.

Damien stood, crossing his arms as he gave his consort a look. "Pip..."

Pip shuffled his feet. "Well, maybe I am a little nervous..."

"It's perfectly safe. None of the Demons or souls will bother you. You're my consort, so you're untouchable. Besides, torture time isn't until 4:00."

" 'Torture Time'? " Pip quoted curiously.

"Yeah, there's so many people in Hell we demons just don't have time to torture them all the time, so mostly we just let them do what they want and set aside two hours a day for torture."

"What do you do with the rest of the day?"

"We throw parties and social events. BBQ's, luau's, parades, raves, balls... You should see Hitler when he's at the D.J. station."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Pip said cheering up.

"It's not." Damien said standing in the circle. "Okay, I've never opened a portal for more than one person, so you'll have to help."

"What do I do?" Pip asked as Damien closed his eyes.

"You just stand back, close your eyes and concentrate your energy on me. I'll do the rest."

Pip did as he was told, focusing all his energy on Damien as a cold wind began blowing, stirring up the leaves from the tree's nearby and sending them swirling around them. An unearthly choir of voices from nowhere began singing ominously in Latin.

Damien drew upon the energy Pip was giving him, muttering a spell as he used his inhuman powers to open a portal into the fiery realm he called home. He opened his eyes, grabbing Pips hand.

"Come on, these things don't last long."

Pip, feeling a bit winded, as if he'd run some laps, kept a tight grip on his master's hand as he led him through the portal.

**6. Trouble in Class**

The bell rang, signaling the end of class to the antsy fourth graders. Today was the first day of spring break and everyone had plans.

Mr. Garison looked up at the bell, "Oh, is it time to go already? Well, class have a nice vacation! Don't forget to put on plenty of sunscreen if you go to the beach or you'll get skin cancer and die."

Half the class was already gone, having rushed out the door the moment that the bell rang.

Pip, ever the good student, had waited until Mr. Garison gave the okay before taking his things out of his desk. "Oh, this is going to be such a great week, Damien!" He said delightedly, "I can't wait till tomorrow!"

Damien nodded, a rare smile on his face, "Yeah, it's gonna be cool."

Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman (who were waiting on Butters, the unofficial 5th member of their group, to make sure he had everything in his desk, lest he get grounded), turned to the Brit and the Anti-Christ.

"Why? What's happening tomorrow?" Kyle asked

Pip beamed, "I've been saving up my allowance and working odd jobs all year and I've finaly saved up enough money to fly home to England for a visit. Damien's coming with me so he can meet my friends."

"_You have friends_?" Stan asked, looking surprised.

Pip ignored the tone and continued brightly, "Oh yes, Pocket, and my ex-girlfriend Estella."

"You had a _girlfriend_?" Kenny's muffled voice asked.

"Oh, yes. But we broke up I'm afraid," he said. "She was too much of a flirt...but we continued to stay friends, though. I can't wait for them to meet Damien."

Cartman walked over, smirking "So, you're takin' your boyfriend home to meet your friends, huh? I knew you guys were fags."

Damien frowned at Cartman, "Shut up, fat-ass."

"Don't call me fat, you fuckin' demon spawn piece of crap!"Cartman said, his expression going from amused to furious instantaneously.

He turned to the British boy " And as for you, Pip, you limey ass pansy, you don't have any friends! Nobody likes you cuz you're too damn nice. You're a fuckin' pussy that annoys the hell out of everybody and if you really did have 'friends' back in smelly old fish and chips land, they would've visited you by now. Face it, they probably forgot all about you the moment you left."

Pip looked down at his feet, trying not to show his distress as the words sank in, effectively ruining his good mood.

"I...I..."

Damien saw his consorts hurt expression and glared at the chubby bastard responsible. "Don't listen to him Pip, he's not worth it. He's just a lonely fat ass who's hot for Kyle and knows it'll never happen."

Cartman looked outraged for a moment before turning and stomping out the door, "I don't have to listen to this! Screw you guys, I'm going home. Butters, get your ass over here, we're leaving!"

Butters scrambled to catch up, "Oh, Hamburgers!"

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny followed behind, rolling their eyes.

Once they were alone, Damien climbed out if his desk. Pip slid out of his dejectedly.

"Damien, do you think Eric had a point...about Pocket and Estella not caring about me anymore? It HAS been almost two years since I've seen them..."

Damien wrapped an arm around Pip's shoulders as he shrugged his black back-pack on with the other, "No way. Cartman's just being a jerk. Do you think they'd forget about you?"

"Well...no..." he said, "But what about that other stuff? Do YOU think I'm an annoying pussy-boy?"

Damien scoffed, "Would I keep you around if I did?"

"That's true," Pip agreed. He beamed, "You're right. I'm worrying over nothing. Eric is just being nasty."

Damien gave one of his wicked smiles, "I'm always right." He said as he leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on the Brit's cheek, "Now let's go. We don't wanna miss our flight, do we?"

Pip blushed, shaking his head 'no' as they made their way out the door, leaning into his master's touch.

**7. Lunchroom**

Damien and Pip sat side by side at their table in the corner of the cafeteria, observing the other students as they ate their lunches. Damien scoffed as Stan, Kyle and the others all discussed some stupid scheme of Cartmans to try to earn 10 million dollars for the umteenth time.

"That fatass never learns, does his Pip?"

Silence.

"Pip?"

Damien glanced at the brit. He was staring off into space. a far off look in his eyes.

"PIP!"

The blonde started, glancing at his master and shaking his head to clear it, "Yes, Damien?"

Damien gave an annoyed sigh "Is something wrong?"

"No." Pip said shaking his head, "In fact today's gone surprisingly well. Hardly anyone's picked on me today, and Pocket called me last night."

Damien frowned, "Then why were you ignoring me?" he demanded. Pip poked at his food, somewhat guiltily " I'm sorry, Damien. It's nothing, really...I'm just thinking..."

Damien crossed his arms, "What could be so important that you'd stare off into space like a retarded cow?"

Pip kicking his legs absentmindedly, "I was just thinking about something my step mother said about how it was foolish for us to be freinds. It really got to me."

Damien scowled, "What did she say?" he asked, eatting a bite of his lunch.

Pip removed his beloved hat and worried it," She said I'm your freind **now**, but...what about in the future? What if you get tired of me and don't want me as your consort anymore? What if one day you find someone more interesting and cool that does more exciting things and decide you're bored of me?"

Damien looked at the blonde as if he'd just declared that he loved France.

"Pip, why would you even _consider_believing something like that?"

Pip twisted his hat in his hands, "Because I'm calm and soft spoken and you're...well, you're not. We're not compatible...I can't help but wonder if she's right...What if you get sick of me and decide you don't like me anymore?"

"Pip." Damien said slowly "Did it ever occur to you that you being so different than me is EXACTLY what I like about you?"

Pip looked up at him, "What do you mean?"

"Pip, I hang out with you because you're different than everyone else in this stupid ass town. You're accepting, gentle, and freindly to everyone. Even fat ass. I'm short-tempered, easily aggitated, and aggresive It's because our personalities clash that we get along so well. That's why we _work_. We balance each other out."

Pip thought about this as Damien took another bite of his lunch.

"So...I don't bore you?"

Damien shook his head, "No. And even if you did, It wouldn't change our connection. Demons don't work that way, Pip. When we make a commitment, we're in it for the long haul. Only humans are stupid and arrogant enough to withdraw from relationships because of something as petty as boredom.

Pip nodded "Does that mean you won't get sick of me and find some better friend to hang out with?"

"You're my consort. That's not a position I would give and take away on a whim like common friendship. It's a very important position and _you're_just as important to me as I am to you. Your step mother is a dumb ass bitch for trying to convince you otherwise."

Pip felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He sighed heavily with relief. "Thank you, Damien I feel SO much better now!" he practically chirped.

The young anti-christ turned back to his lunch, as his companion returned to normal, SERIOUSLY considering having Pip's step parents murdered in some slow, painful way for trying to come between them.

**8. Confrontation**

Damien kicked open the door of the schoolyard. His eyes glinting with not-entirely hidden hellfire as he made his way over to Cartman and Butters.

Cartman turned to look at the approaching anti-christ with distaste.

"Well, well. If it isn't the unholy butt-hole himself."

Damien glared at him, "You thought you could get away with it, didn't you?"

"G-g-get away with _what_, Damien?" Butters stuttered nervously as he always did when Damien was around. Damien gave a him a withering look. "Shut up, Butters, I'm not talking to you." He turned to Cartman "I just found Pip crying in the bathroom! He said you cut off his hair and took his hat!"

Cartman smirked, "I sure did! It was funny when he started crying as I cut that girly hair of his!"

Damien was NOT amused.

He'd been just short of horrified when he'd seen all of Pip's lovely blonde hair cut off to little more than a gapy mess. Pip had been sitting in one of the stalls crying his eyes out. As usual, Cartman and the others had bullied him, and he'd been fine with it...until Cartman had pulled out a pair of scissors, pinned him down, and hacked off all his hair. Beat him up, and stolen his beloved trademark cap.

Pip had gotten that hat from his parents as a birthday present before their deaths...

Damien gallantly fought the urge to murder the overweight asshole where he stood and settled for an 'if looks could kill' face. "Give me Pip's hat back and I might let you live, dick weed."

Cartman reached into his pocket and pulled out the now heavily wrinkled cap

"You mean this stupid thing? Here take it. Oh wait..."

He held the hat over his rear and farted loudly into it before throwing it at Damien "There! Give that to fart boy!" he yellled as he and Butters walked off. Damien fired a fireball at their rears, vowing in his mind to much MUCH worse later...

For now, he'd have the hat cleaned and returned to Pip in the morning. No telling what other things the fat ass had done to it.

**9. Invitation**

"How do you feel, Pip?" Damien asked, placing a pink bandage on the blonde's right temple. Pip adjusted his cap, "Much better now, thanks to you, Damien."

"It was nothing... I couldn't very well go around with a gappy-haired consort covered in bruises now could I? What sort of master would I be?"

Pip glanced at his feet, a small smile on his face. Damien had returned his hat, which had been cleaned, and healed most of his wounds, excluding a small cut on his head, which was covered with the aforementioned pink bandage. He'd also used his powers to grow Pip's hair back out to it's normal length.

"So did those step-parents of yours even notice you were injured?" Damien asked

"Well, my step father asked if I'd had a haircut..." Pip said shrugging

Damien frowned, "Idiots. You should just move in with me and my father."

Pip shook his head, "I couldn't possibly-"

Damien gave him a look, "Pip, they barely pay attention to you, and when they do it's either to scold and lecture you about hanging out with me, or something stupid like singing Christmas carols or going to a meteor shower party."

"Well, in their defense the meteor shower party was pretty fun. We played Charlie's Angels and-"

"I know what you did," Damien said, "You know what I mean."

Pip sighed, "Yes... I suppose you have a point, Damien."

"Of course I do. Besides, if you lived with me, you'd get some respect. The demons would have to take whatever order you gave them. The souls too. You'd have POWER."

Pip thought about it. It was a tempting offer...

"Well..."

"Not to mention you'd be living with ME. We could play more, and I could teach you things."

"What sort of things?"

"How to summon portals, turn people into animals, set things on fire that sort of thing."

Pips eyes lit up "Really? That sounds smashing Damien!"

Damien grinned wickedly, "We could get revenge on fat-ass and his gang together...I know you want to."

Pip touched the cut on his forehead and felt the brim of his cap. Images of the incident flashing through his mind. He shuddered.

"I accept Damien! Oh, I won't have to give you my soul will I?"

"Did I ask for it?"

"No."

"Then there's your answer."

"Just checking!" Pip chirped as he followed his master back into school as the bell rang, signaling the end of recess.

"Whatever...I'll send a demon to collect your things from your house after school."

"Righto."

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><p><strong><em>1-WRHprt1: Just my take on how that little scheme of Damien's played out.<em>**

**_2- WRHprt2 :same thing, but after the fight._**

**_3. Snicker: Read this joke in a fic, thought it was funny, and decided to have pip tell it to damien_**

**_4. Wrath: Because you know that would sooooo Totaly happen_**

**_5. Rectus..Dominus... : Because even the son of satan needs a playmete to have sleepovers with._**

**_6. Trouble in Class: Cartman goes from sero to pissed in half a second...and so does Damien. stupid fatass making pip upset!_**

**_7. Lunchroom: I think we've all had a conversation like this at lunch before. I know I did...only without the demons, lol xP_**

**_8. Confrontation: Cartman went just a little bit far this time...man I was in a dark mood that day_**

**_9. Invitation: conclusion to confrontation. _**


	2. Chapter 2

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple o paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

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><p><strong>10. Church<strong>

Damien never went to Church. Then again, why would he? He, being the son of the devil, was a satanist, and HE didn't need a church to pray to his own father. Pip however, even after discovering the Truth about Mormonism, continued to go to Mass with his step-parents and step sister.

And this annoyed the crap out of the little Prince of Darkness, who felt like he was getting robbed of Pips attention. Because EVERYONE knew that despite the fact that Damien loathed people in general, he DID like getting attention.

And really Pip was his Consort! How dare he partake in something he knew his master hated!

What gall!

So one sunday morning, Damien waited in Pips room (he climbed up the trellis) for him to return. After what felt like hours, the door to Pips room opened and the little brit entered, kicking off his shoes

"Phew! I say, that certainly was a long service!"

"Hello Pip."

"Gah!" the blonde yelped. He turned, relaxing upon seeing the black-clothed demon sitting on his bed.

"Oh, Damien, it's just you. You startled me."

Damien climbed of the bed and stalked over to the blonde "Pip, why do you keep going to that stupid Church? You know only Mormons and Buddhists go to heaven. Why waste your time on that crap?"

Pip looked taken aback, "Well, Damien, I don't really have a choice in the matter. I have to, my step-parents make me."

"You could tell them you don't want to go."

"I'm Nine. why should they care what I want to do?"

Damien opened his mouth to respond, but closed it. He had a point. And if Pip had to go to church because his parents made him, he certainly couldn't fault him for neglecting his duties as his consort because it was beyond his control. Which meant Damien had no say in the matter.

"Damnit!"

**11. Purse**

"Pip, what is that thing on your shoulder?" the 16 year old anti-christ asked, pointing at the thing Pip currently had hangin from his shoulder and comming to rest near his waist.

"Oh, it was a present from Estella she sent for my birthday. Isn't it smashing? It's made of real leather, and it's designed to look like the english flag! It's the latest thing is fashion, she says, it's a bag for men to use to carry things like their wallets, keys, pens, cigarettes, and-"

"It's a purse" Damien stated.

Pip's eyes widened. "It is not a purse, it's a...a..."

"Yes?" Damien said, crossing his arms, waiting for a response.

Pip looked at the bag, a look of dispair crossing his face as he read the little tag on the strap

" 'Multi-use handbag for men'..."

"So it's a man-purse."

Pip sputtered for some kind of defense. Damien smirked and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"Don't sweat it. My dad got me one just last week..."

**12. Hair**

Pip was a gentleman. And as such, he usualy put other peoples opinions ahead of his own, even of they were derogatory towards him. But there were two things he did NOT compromise on.

Being called French when he was obviously British.

And his hair.

His step-mother often complained about his long hair. "No boy wears their hair that long nowadays" she said whenever she saw him brushing out his golden tresses in the bathroom. He was 13 years old, and his hair had been shoulder length since elementary school. Recently he'd allowed it to grow out even more, and now, when loose (since he normaly pulled it back into a poney-tail), it stretched halfway to his elbows.

Pip wasn't a very self-absorbed person, but he absolutly adored his hair. He took great pride in keeping it clean, soft, neat, free of dead or split-ends, and shiney to boot. It was the envy of every girl at the middle school. And even some of the male students seemed to think it was "cool" and "non-conformist".

Some however, like Eric Cartman, called him a hippy and openly mocked his "girly hair".

Pip didn't care. Not that he didn't enjoy his hair and the attention it got (both positive and negative) but he didn't grow it out for his peers.

He grew it on the behest of one black-clad best freind of his who had one day on the walk home tilted his head at him and casualy spoken six little words.

"_You should grow out your hair..."_

And he kept it because he liked the way that same anti-christ ran his hands through it

**13. Computer**

"Don't lie to me, Damien, I know you used my lap-top without permission!" the 21 year old college student frowned.

"No I didn't!"

"Oh, yeah? then why are all these porno sites on the browsing history, I certainly didn't visit them!" He held the the screen up for Damien to see.

Damien glared at the monitor with it's long, LONG list of porn websites he'd visited listed in the chart .

"Stupid computer..."

**14. Clock**

Damien and Pip both glanced at the clock as they waited for the little stick on the counter to dry.

"Damn it, why does five minutes have to take so damn long?" The anti-christ demanded. Pip sighed, "I don't know..."

Ding!

The egg-timer went off.

Damien froze.

Now he almost wished it had been an even LONGER wait as Pip reached over and picked up the little stick sitting on the counter.

He fidgeted nervously "Well...?"

Pip looked over at him and smiled, "We're going to have a baby."

Damien pumped his fists, "Yes!Yes! Satan be praised! I KNEW that spell would work! Human science, kiss my ass!"

Pip just giggled as his boyfreind (and the father of their future child), did a rather silly victory dance around the room.

**15. Frog**

"So, if I kiss you, you'll turn back into a prince?" The peasant boy asked the black frog with red eyes sitting on the ground beore him.

"That's right."

"I thought only a princesses kiss could break spells like that," the blonde said aloud. The frog hopped closer, landing on the boys bare knee. "Nope. Anyone can do it, as long as they're willing and have a strong enough soul."

The boy 'hm'd' at that. "So who put the spell on you, anyway?"

"A fat-ass wizard named Cartman and his minions."

"Eric the terrible?" the boy asked.

"Yes. Him. now are you gonna kiss me or not?"

"Oh, right." the blonde said picking him up, "Here we go..."

He pursed his lips and placed a kiss on the very top of the frogs head. The creature glowed an ominous red and grew into a tall, dashing, red-eyes human clothed in black. He clenched his fists victoriously, "Finaly! I, Damien, am free!"

The boy gazed up at the noble and handsome prince, marveling his beauty. The black clad royal looked down at him, holding out a hand "What was our name, boy?"

The boy licked his lips, "Phillip. But everyone in my village calls me Pip."

"Well, then, Pip. You shall be handsomely rewarded for freeing me of that blasted curse. How would you like to be my servant?" He offered, seeing the rags the boy wore as clothing, "You'll be given new clothes and be allowed to eat as much as you want."

"Really?" the begger asked, sounding excited.

"Yes. That sounds better than living in the gutter doesn't it?"

"Oh, yes, your highness! You're too kind..."

The dark prince wrapped an arm around his shoulders as their made their way to the castle, "You can call me Damien."

**16. Fire**

There was a fog in the air as the small procession walked out into the forest. A group of men in red british military uniforms leading two prisoners bound in chains behind them. At length, they stop and undid theshackles, the chains falling to the ground with a clink. One of the prisoners, a long, lanky black haired fellow with reddish eyes, wore a dirty and battered blue uniform, a patriot. The other, noticably smaller figure, had bshoulder length blond hair. His unform was red like his captors. He was none other than Captain Phillip Pirrup of the British army, though you'd never tell with him covered in bruises and chaffed from the iron handcuffs that had just been removed. He and his companion, Damien Thorne, and American revolutionary, were about to be executed.

The newly appointed Captain of his Unit, Stanley Marsh, stood at attention.

"These prisoners are sentanced to be executed by the order of general Eric Cartman for the following crimes..." he cleared his throat, unrolling a list of parchment. "Damien, Thorne, you're individual charges are as follows: Horse thievery, Arson, and spying on his majesty's royal army."

The rebel sneered and spat at the ground where he stood, "To hell with your king."

This was ignored as Captain Marsh moved onto the next prisoner, "Captain Phillip Pirrup, you are individualy charged with desertion, conspiracy against the crowns army, and delivering wartime strategies and other vaulable information to a spy, as well as attempting to free a prisoner of war."

The blonde stood motionless, giving only a nod to show he had heard his charges.

He pulled out another sheet of paper, "Your joint charges are treason to the Crown, Country, and God, for the heinous crime, and sin, of performing carnal acts of pleasure with one of the same sex. For these crimes, you shall be executed by firing squad."

As he read this order, a man stepped forward and tied a handkerchief over each of their eyes.

Captain Marsh rolled up the sheets and rejoined his men

"On my mark, men!

The soldiers took knee and goot into prime firing position

"Three!"

So close did they stand that Damien could feel Phillip, or Pip, as the men called him, tremble.

"Two!"

Pip started as he felt a hand reach out and squeeze his own. Damiens hand. He ran his thumb soothingly across the back of his hand. He felt his nerves steady as is trembling slowed.

"One!"

Pip squeezed back as he accepted his fate. General Cartman said he was going to burn in hell when he'd caught them together in his tent for his sin of homosexuality.

_'Oh well...'_ he thought, '_At least I'll burn with Damien...'_

"FIRE!"

**17. Angel**

Damien was a demon. The son of Satan. Prince of Hell. The Antichrist. And as expected of someone like him, he hated Angels. With their snow-white wings and their mormonistic views and their blasted infinity for-shudder-goodness and purity.

Pip often reminded him of an angel. His pleasant attitude, his inexplicable ability to turn the other cheek and then turn it again. His long golden hair that spilled out from under that cap of his. His flawless skin, unmarred, despite the many injuries he'd suffered over the years.

He was very much like an angel, logically, Damien should despise such a being with all of his evil little heart.

And yet he found himself drawn like moth to a flame to the soft spoken boy.

He had no idea why he was freinds with this british exchange student that seemed to contrast with his own personality so VERY much.

But he was.

BEST freinds even. So close that he personaly came to his defense far more times than he could remember.

No matter how hard Damien thought about it, he could come up with only one conclusion. Pip may be an angel...

But he was HIS angel.

**18. French**

Cartman lay on the ground his nose bloodied and his face covereing in bruises.

"Take it back!" said the boy towering over him, his eyes feiry with rage.

"No!"

PUNCH!

"I said, take it back!"

"Never!"

"If you don't take it back I'll rip out your brain stem, walk it into the nearest four way intersection, and skip rope with it right before comming back over and strangling you with it while I ass-rape you with a lead pipe!"

Cartman paled, "Alright! Alright! I'm sorry, you're not French! You're NOT FRENCH!"

"Damn strait!" the blond said, wiping his bloody knuckles on the hem of his red blazer. Damien, who stood a few feet away next to Kyle, Kenny, and stan as Butters rushed forward to help Cartman rise shakily to his feet, turned to the other three members of Cartmans group.

"Remind me NEVER to call Pip French..."

* * *

><p><strong>10. Church: No comment<strong>

**11. Purse: Knowing Satan, he totaly would get Damien a man bag...**

**12. Hair: I saw a fanart of an older pip with long hair, and I totaly loved it^^**

**13. Computer: Because I think we've ALL been here...on one side or the other. Looks like Damien's not gonna get laid for a while.**

**14. Clock: I hate clocks. they are evil**

**15. Frog: Cuz I felt like it.**

**16. Fire: Struck me in a moment of genious and I cried writing it.**

**17. Angel: cheesy, I know. ::punches self in face::**

**18. ****French:O.O Never piss off Pip. EVER.**


	3. Chapter 3

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple o paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p>Chapter 3<p>

* * *

><p><strong>19. Bunny<strong>

Damian was one of those cats some people might call spoiled. Oh, he wasn't fat or anything, he was in exceptionaly good shape. Lean, muscular, strong. The very idea of the black short-hair being overweight was laughable at best.

But he had free reign over the house.

He slept on the furniture, jumped and the counters and hissed at anyone who invaded his personal space. Thus, the elderly gay couple that owned him decided this meant he was lonely and needed a freind.

At first they tried getting him a girl cat, another short-hair named Wendy. They despised each other and when it became obvious things wern't working out, they gave her to a strait freind o theirs called Stan. Damien purred for a solid hour after she left. Content to be in his rightful place as ruler of the household. At least for the next 4 months...

That was when the bunny showed up...

It was a blonde lop-earred bunny that they had brought home from an outting to who knows where.

"Look, Damien, we got you a new playmate."

"His name is Phillip, isn't that cute?"

Damien growled as they placed the creature on the floor. He was going to kill it the second his owners left the room. To think of letting that oversized rodent in HIS house! The creature hopped around innocently, sniffing around his new home in a carefree manner. Craig and Tweek left the room to let them get aquainted.

Damien decided to make his move at once. He jumped from his place of the couch onto the floor and stalked over to the bunny, intent on ripping its throat out.

Phillip turned, his delicate, quivering nose catching the scent of the cat approaching. He hopped over brightly, meeting the cat halfway.

"Hello! We havn't been formally introduced! My name is Phillip, what's your name?"

The cat narrowed his ruby eyes at the bunny. Didn't it know to be afraid of a cat? Cats were deadly predators!

"I am Damien. And this is MY house. MINE. Everything in it belong to me."

The lop should have been intimidated by such a creature, but he was either to stupid to be afraid, or too use to the behavior for it to phase him. "I see. Well, Damien, I'll try to be good and not mess up any of your things!"

Damien wanted to laugh if it's apparent trusting, helpless nature wasn't so frustrating. He was trying to scare him, damnit!

The bunny sniffed his cat overlord and nuzzled against him, spinning in a circle and cuddling up beside him. The cat loked at him with confusion, "Aren't you worried I could eat you?" He placed a claw on his neak and digging his claws in just enough to prick the rabbits delicate skin

"Why should I be?" the bunny replied rolling onto his back and exposing his stomach to the cat, giggling at the touch of the claws "That tickles!"

Damien wanted to strangle the rodent for being so...vulnerable and happy. He sighed. There was no sport in terrorizing something that didn't know when to be scared.

Besides... he was pretty cute. Maybe he could find SOME use for him...

**20. Fan**

Damien Thorne was currently the worlds most famous rock star. He dressed only in black, his pericing red eyes a sharp contrast. Millions of men and women scremed his name, cheering. as he signed autographs after his shows, there would always be several people who would claim to be his 'biggest fan'.

He'd nod his head and sign their picture or album.

So what if they knew all his songs? Who cared if they went to every concert he'd played since he'd become a hit? Who gave a fuck is they masturbated to his picture every night or had a tatoo of him on their shoulder or back?

None of that matters... he thought as he looked down at the sleeping blonde beside him, curled up next to him, breathing softly. This was the person who'd stood by him and believed in him when everyone else had given up and criticised him. Who'd encouraged and cheered im on even when he was on the verge of quitting.

those other people out there screaming and cheering...chanting his name and lyrics like a prayer...They didn't matter.

THIS person, Pip Purrip, mattered.

HE was his biggest fan.

**21. Bra**

Philomina, also known as Pipi by her 'friends' was crying her eyes out. Erica Cartman, the school Bully, had stolen her bra during gym glass and raised it on the school flagpole for all to see what a small cup-size she was.

"Ha-ha!" Konnie said, her voice muffled by the bright orange parka she wore.

"Check out the british girls wonder-bra!" Kylie Broflovski said, pointing up at it with a smirk.

"Yeah, it's a WONDER she can even wear a bra!" her best friend, Stanella Marsh added. The two slapped high fives, laughing along with the rest of the class as Pipi sank to her knees, wanting desperatly to just curl up and die.

"Hey!"

The crowd parted as a girl dressed all in black, save for her ruby-red lipstick and the silver upside-down cross necklace she was wearing, strode over. It was Danielle, daughter of the devil and the most feard/respected girl in school besides Erica. "What's going on here?" She asked, crossing her arms an jutting her hips.

Marjorine, Erica's lacky and general good-girl all around, gulped as the anti-christ turned to her. "Um, we were just having a little fun, Danielle, that's all..."

Danielle looked up at the bra on the flag pole and then down at Pipi, who was still crying her eyes out. She smirked, a fireball glowing in her hand, " Fun, huh? I think I'll join you..." she shot the fireball at Pipi, who gasped as she was engulfed. She threw another fireball at Erica, who boasted a size D. Everyone atached in morbid fascination as Pipi's breasts grew filling up the sweater she wore, and Erica's shrank, withering down to almost nothing. Danielle snapped her fingers and the flames disapeared.

"Alright, Erica Cartman, now you're going to give Pipi the bra you're wearing. Because as of right now, that one on the flag pole is yours...if you can even fit it around your fat fucking torso."

She pulled Pipi to her feet, brushing her off and snatching the bra out of Erica's hand as she cried like a baby over the loss of her rack. Pipi took the bra, smiling with a sniffle, "Thank you ever so much, Danielle... you didn't have to do that."

Danielle wrapped an arm around her shoulders, grinning wickedly, "Hey, NOONE messes with my best freind while I'M around."

**22. Flag**

Pip and Damien looked down from the cliff they were sitting on to the floor below where the worlds souls were either being tortured or partying. Pip kicked his legs absentmindedly.

"You know Damien, I've been thinking..."

"About what?"

"Flags."

Damien gave him a look, "What about flags?"

Pip leaned back a bit " I don't know...Every country in the world has one...I think Hell should have one too."

"Hell isn't a country, it's a plane of existance."

"Well I still think Hell should have one."

"Why?"

"Because flags symbolize patriotism and pride. They give a sense of unity and togetherness."

"..."

Pip took a different appraoch "Heaven Doesn't have one. You'd be one-upping them."

Damien grinned at that, "THAT'S something I could get on board with. Let's go ask my dad." he smirked "Maybe we could get a national anthem too...something REALLY blasphemous."

"Oh!" Pip said delightedly as they stood "Could we d it to the tune of 'god save the queen'?"

"Sure. Father is a total queen anyway, he'd love it..."

**23. Condom**

Damien and Pip ground and pawed each other as they entered their hotel room and collapsed on the bed.

"I've been waiting for this all night, Damien said, pulling off his black shirt and tossing it carelessly across the room. Pip followed suit, stripping out of his jacket and shirt, "I know. I can barely believe we're finally going to do it." he said, wrapping his arms around his boyfreind as they layed back against the sheets of the bed, tongues battling for dominance as they kissed feverishly. As they broke apart for air and to furthur undress, Pip looked up at Damien.

"Did you bring a condom?"

Damien froze in mid-zip as he began removing his jet-black jeans.

"DAMNIT!"

**24. Nightmare**

Pip ran as fast as his legs could carry him, his face was bloody and bruised. The figure behind him growling as it drew ever closer.

"Get back here ou limey bastard!"

"Leave me alone!"

"You're gonna get it, british kid!"

"Please! I-OOF!" Pip ried out as he triped over a rock and landed hard in the snow. As he pushed himself up, trying to catch the breath that had been knocked out of his lungs, a shadow loomed over him. Pip whimpered and flipped onto his back, looking up at his tormentor.

The Antichrist glared down at him with an evil smirk, "Finaly caught you...I'm gonna enjoy this..." He raised his hand, forming a fireball. Pip tried to run, but found himself frozen, unable to move.

"No, please, Damien, wait!"

"Goodbye Pip. See you in Hell!"

"NNOOOOOOOOO!"

000000ooooo000000

"PIP, WAKE UP!"

Pip sat up with a jolt, yelping and flailing his arms and legs wildly as he saw the feiry red eyes of the antichrist. "No, get off, leave me alone!"

Damien took his face in his hands gently "Pip, calm down, it's ME."

Pip panted, calming as he became more aware. He was in his room. Damien who lay next to him, was spending the night to celebrate Halloween. He swalowed thickly, "Damien...I just had the most horrible dream...You hated me and I was running and You were chasing me and then I fell, and you made a fireball and-"

Damien sighed, "Pip...do you think I would I EVER do that to you?"

The blond shook his head, brushing his now bedrumpled hair out of his eyes as they met Damiens. "No...You wouldn't hurt me..."

" And do you know why?"

"Because you're my best freind. And the only person in this town I like."

Pip embraced his black-clad freind. "I know, Damien."

Damien returned the hug, "Hey, since we're up anyway, wanna go down to hell and party with my father? Father ALWAYS throws AWESOME halloweeen parties."

Pip perked up immediatly, "Jolly good idea, Damien, I love parties!"

Damien grinned, "Good. While we're there, I think I'll have a little chat with the Nightmare Demon..."

**25. Dog**

"Damien, can we get a dog? I've always wanted a dog!"

"I dunno, Pip..."

"Please Damien?" the blonde begged, "I've never had a pet before."

Damien sighed at the brits big watery eyes. He was giving him 'the look'. The one he couldn't resist...

"Get thee behind me satan, and lead me not into temptation!"

Satan picked up the little hellhound puppies, chuckling as they licked his face, "But they're so CUTE, Dami!"

"Great, I can't even get my dad to back me up on this...Fine, we'll get a puppy...but YOU'RE housebreaking it."

"Yay!" Pip cheered, scooping up the puppy he desired and planting a wet kiss on his lovers cheek."I love you, Damien!"

"You're lucky you're cute..." the antichrist said, rolling his eyes and wrapping an arm aorund his waist, smiling despite himself.

**26. Clouds**

"Rabbit..."

"Cat..."

"Spoon..."

"Daisy..."

"Wheelchair..."

"Italy..."

"An elephant dressed in a tutu, dancing the tango with a chicken on top of Mount Fuji..."

Damien sat up and looked at Pip as they pointed out shapes in the clouds with a stupiefied frown. "What drugs are YOU on?"

**27. Shudder**

Damien Thorne, CEO of a very prestigious business, shuddered at the hot, wet mouth currently busy between his legs as he sat at the desk of his office.

"Oh...damn, Pip, sooo good...! You're DEFFINATLY earning a premotion!"

* * *

><p><strong>19. Bunny: This was the product of watching too many rabbitcat videos on Youtube.**

**20. Fan: got the idea from a dream I had while the song "perfect fan" by backstreet boys was playing.**

**21. Bra: Genderbending YAY!**

**22. Flag: come on, you know it would be awesome. art challenge! draw me a hell flag and post the link on my dA account Xilex90 so I can see their awesomeness!**

**23. Condom: ::tsk tsk:: silly Damien... looks like somebody's not getting laid tonight!**

**24. Nightmare:Fluff!**

**25. Dog: lol, damien was acyualy saying "back me up here dad, help me resist the face!" but Satan FAILS. Puppies are awesome.**

**26. Clouds: Drugs. Pip is on them.**

**27. Shudder: ::nosebleed:: Um...no comment...**


	4. Chapter 4

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple o paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p>Chapter 4<p>

* * *

><p><strong>28. Puddle<strong>

Damien glared at the puddle in the middle of the livingroom rug, turning to his boyfreind, "I knew getting a puppy was a bad idea..."

Pip scooped up the pup defensivly, " She just had an accident, Damien, she's a puppy, she doesn't know any better. Besides, YOU'RE he one that didn't take her for her afternoon walk."

Damien huffed, crossing his arms. "Now I understand why the Chinese eat dogs...I wonder how they taste..."

Pip gasped "How dare you!" He humphed and stomped up to the room he shared with his lover, "Just for that, no sex for a week!"

Damien's eyes widened as he anxiously persued the brit

"Pip, wait, I was just kidding! **PIP**!"

**29. Hobble**

The blond boy struggled as the natives that had killed his companions drug him through the jungle and into a village He looked around fearfully as the villagers looked upon the prisoner with devious delight. He noticed very suddenly where he was being dragged. Towards a blood-stained alter, no doubt to be sacrificed in some horrible manner.

"No! Please, I don't want to die!" He cried, trying to resist the men pulling him along. One of his captors raised a hand to strike him into silence.

"Mal-gnef!" A voice suddenly called from an exceptionaly large hut. The men who held him turned towards the voice, giving the blond a look at the man who had stoped the blow. He was tall with raven black hair and adorned in the equaly black fur of some animal. Probably a panther, if the texture was a giveaway. He was done up in silver ornaments, obviously, he was these people's leader.

He stalked over to them, looking Pip over with those crimson eyes of his.

" Hua Iy-no sta nakah?"

"Um...my name is Pip" he said, guessing he was asking his name. Really, it was Phillip, but Captain Cartman and the crew had always called him Pip, so it was what he was use to.

"P'ip?" the cheiftan repeated, he placed a hand on his chest, "Nakah deh, D'am-in." He brushed a lock of hair out of the blonds face " T'liuk n-im?" he said pointing at the alter.

Pip eagerly shook his head 'no'. He wanted nothing to do with the sacrificial alter.

The man nodded and spoke something to the guards, who cut the rope tying the boys hands together. The chief motioned for him to follow him as he headed back to his hut. Pip hobbled after him, his leg still injured from his capture earlier.

**30. Dusk**

"Pip, What colour do you think we should paint the bedroom?" the Anti christ asked his bride as they looked around the house they'd purchased at a very pricey region of the hell real estate district.

"Hmm...Dusk Pink."

The demon blanched "Why that shade?" he asked, wincing at the very thought of having a PINK bedroom. The blond wrapped his arms around his shoulders pecking him on the lips affectionatly. " Because that's the color your cheeks turn whenever I tell 'I love you ' "

The young prince of darkness blushed, turning away from the his bride of darkness, clearing his throat.

"Dusk Pink it is then..."

**31. Monocle**

"I say, wonderful evening isn't it?"

"Righto, Pocket old chap!"

"It's simply smashing to see you've come to Jolly old England for a visit!" the redhead said, nibbling on a crumpet.

"Indeed. I never thought I'd see YOU again, you putrid pile of maggot-infested donkey piss," Estella said, sipping some tea, "More Earl Grey?"

"Oh, yes, thank you." Pip said, holding out his cup, "How about you Damien?"

Damien looked bored as he tried to secure the bothersome glass to his face, "Pip, I know you said this was a formal dinner party, but did I have to wear this stupid monocle? It keeps falling down."

"It's not stupid, it's distinguished. Besides it's the perfect accesory for your suit."

"I think he looks rather handsome in it," Estella said, winking at the antichrist and rubbing his thigh in a suggestive manner. "VERY handsome..."

Pip, who was in mid-sip, deaftly threw the tea in her face; it quickly followed by a slice of cake, rending a sudden shriek from her.

"Keep your hands off my man, you bloody tart!"

As Estella indignantly began berating the blond, accompanied by Pockets scolding of how utterly ungentlmanly it was to behave in such a disgraceful manner to the still huffing Pip who had wrapped an arm posseivly around the black haired demon, Damien decided that Monocles were** very** good accesories indeed.

**32. Carousel**

"Damien...its almost Carousel...You know what Eric said...If the kids in Treasure Cove get the book, he'll sacrifice ME to The Provider..."

"I'm not letting that happen."

"But he's the mayor of Smiley Town, you can't go up against him!"

"Watch me."

In the distance came the chiming of the clock. Pip jumped as the sound of footsteps appraoching. A fist pounded on the door. Pip yelped in fear.

"Y-yes?"

_"Pip...They have the book tonight..."_ came the familiar voice of Eric Cartman. Pip trembled, tighening his grip on Damien.

_"It's time for Carousel, Pip. One of us **must** be sacrificed."_

Damien narrowed his eyes, " Pip will not be sacrificed! He's the best spit-baller in all of Smiley Town!"

_"Open the door butt-hole!"_

"If you try to take Pip, I'll burn down the city hall so you can't be mayor anymore! Then Stan will have the highest position in all of the Town and you'll have to take orders from him!"

There was a sputtering noise of outrage for a few seconds.

"_Fine then! We'll have to sacrifice Kenny!...Asshole..."_

As the footsteps retreated down the hall, Pip lay limp against his freind, "Thank you Damien..."

"No problem."

**33. Black**

Pip sat on the bed, waiting for his boyfreind to return. Lately their lovelife had gotten a little more creative, and Damien had humoured Pips request to dress up in one of Pips old outfits and speak in a cockney accent for a little role playing.

Suffice to say, Pip had ben thrilled. Which is why he was waiting for Damien to come home so he could surprise him with his newest idea...

000000ooo000000

Damien trudged into the bedroom, kicking of his shoes. "What a day...i had to help dod process over 6 milion new souls and-" His eyes widened as he cought sight of the blond. He was dressed in a black leather pants with a pointed tail hanging from the back, with a mesh shirt sporting bat wings, and wearing false horns attached to a headband. he lay back against the sheets, grinning

"Welcome home master Damien. I've been a very naughty demon in need of punishing..."

What else could Damien do but join the 'demon' on the bed, and 'punish' him all night long?

**34. Qodfopkin fvdone sknef**

Pip looked at Damien with confusion "What was that?"

"It means 'I love you' in Demon."

"Awwww..." Pip snuggled against him, "You're so sweet..."

**35. Motorcycle**

"You want to borrow my motorcycle?"

"Only to go to the store right quick."

"Do you remember what happened LAST time I let you ride my motorcycle?"

" Good point. I heard Stan's still pretty pissed about that porcupine."

"And that old lady never did get that aligators out of her refridgerator."

"How those Mexican Racoons managed to destroy those zombies penguins I'll never know..."

"So just let ME drive you to the store, alright Damien?"

"Fine, I just hate riding in the bich seat..."

**36. Zebra**

"Okay children, the next stop on our field-trip are the zebra's..." Mr Garrison said as they approached the large pasture where a herd of the equines grazed on african grass and shrubs. "Zebra's are members of the horse family. Some people mistakenly believe Zebras are white with black strips. In reality, they're black with white stripes, as was confirmed when a zebra born here last month was born with underdeveloped stripes, and is almost entirly black as you can see."

"Well, that one's deffinatly African..." Cartman muttered under his breath. Several nearby students glared at him but said nothing other than a "Shut up Cartman" from Kyle.

Damien and Pip gazed at the creatures as the rest of the class moved on.

"You know Damien, Zebra's are my favorite animal."

"Why?"

"Because they're beautiful and perfectly adapted to hiding from predators and helping each other. An ideal balance of black and white. Light and darkness working together to confuse enemies and survive despite the great odds stacked against them."

"Kind of like us, huh?"

"What?"

"Nothing. Lets go look at the lions."

* * *

><p><strong>28. Puddle: A continuation of Dog in the Chapter 3<strong>

**29. Hobble: Okay this one needs an explination. Pip was a cabin boy on a pirate ship that stopped on an island to gather some food and fresh water but were attacked by the natives. Pip has an arrow wound in his leg. **

**30. Dusk: It's a pretty color. got the idea while shopping for paint the other day**

**31. Monocle: Hell Yeah! no one touches Pip's man and gets away with it!**

**32. Carousel: I was always confused why Cartman didn't tell Pip to go be sacrificed instead of Butters in "The Wacky Molestation Adventure" when he dislikes him more, so I decided Damien probably forbade him form doing it.**

**33. Black: I think hell just got hotter!**

**34. qodfopkin fvdone skfnef: Random noises I made when I stubbed my toe the other day. lol**

**35. Motorcycle: Pip has one...and Damien can't drive o.O**

**36. Zebra: No comment**


	5. Chapter 5

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple o paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p>Chapter 5<p>

* * *

><p><strong>37. Trucker<strong>

When Pip's car had broken down three days ago in the middle of Death Valley, he'd had no idea what he was getting himself into when he'd grabbed a backpack full of supplies and started hiking along the edge of the road in hope of reaching the town he'd seen on the map. Now here he was, hot, sunburned, and exhausted. There was no sign of anything on the horizon but more dessert.

"I can't walk anymore..." He said, using the red jacket he wore to keep his arms from getting blistered despite the raging heat from the sun as a seat as he allowed his weak knees to give out from under him. He closed his eyes, trying to shield them from the blinding sun as he tilted his head up to wipe the stinging sweat from his eyes.

"So hot..."

"Hey, you need a ride?"

The brit jumped at the voice. A large truck, towing a long trailer behind it, was stopped beside him, the driver, a lean, clean shaven, man in all black looking down at him.

How had he not heard THAT?

"Oh, y-yes!" He said, weakly climbing to his feet, "Please, I've been out here for three days!"

"Well, get in, then" the man in black said, opening the door on the other side of the semi. Pip all but ran to the other side, climbing up and hopping into the cold, air conditioned vehicle, slamming the door shut behind him. The driver of the truck handed him a bottled water, beads of condensation sliding down the edges.

"Here"

"Thank you ever so much!" he said, taking the water and gulping it down greedily.

"What's your name, Blondie?" the man asked, starting up the rig again.

"Phillip Purrip. But all my friends call me Pip."

"Well, Pip, I'm Damien. Where you bound?"

"Oh, I don't know...I was driving through the desert to get to a job interview but my car broke down...I've already missed the interview, and I'm SURE my stingy old land lord's already given my apartment to someone else by now..."

"Well, I'm headed back to my place after I drop off this load. You could stay with me."

"I couldn't possibly..."

Damien shook his head "Pip, I make my living driving trucks. Being alone for long periods of time with no company. Having someone to talk to would be a nice change of pace."

Pip stared at him for a long moment, thinking about it. He didn't really have any other options at the moment. And he HAD been kind enough to offer...

Pip adjusted his hat, a small smile forming on his face "Well, I can hardly refuse the man, who saved my life, now Can I?

"I'd hoped you say that..." Damien said with a grin.

**38. Black Pearl**

Damien is like a black pearl, Pip thought. Strange, dark, and hard to get. Not as flashy as normal white pearls.

But he was also rare, beautiful and unique.

Pip would rather have black pearls than a white one any day

**39. Umbrella**

Pip covered his head with his Jacket, shivering as he trudged through the rain. He'd missed the bus ride home, AGIAN (that bus driver never checked to see if everyone was onboard) and was now having to walk home in the storm that had decided to start pouring buckets of water over the snow-covered town of South Park. As he approached an intersection and waited at the crosswalk for traffic to stop.

"Hey."

He looked back to see one of the more popular kids in High school, Damien Thorne, standing there, dressed in black as always, standing under a black umbrella with a carved handle made of bleached white bone. Pip gulped, nervous about being addressed by one of the popular status. Let alone the one he'd had a secret crush on since elementary school!

"H-hello Damien..." He shuddered, his teeth chattering from the cold and rain pelting him.

"Miss the bus, Pip?"

"Y-y-yes. W-wouldn't be the first time...dreadful w-weather today, isn't it?"

He jumped when Damien reached out and gripped his hand in a tight grip. Pip braced himself, sure he was about to be hurled into the traffic or pushed into a puddle...

And was startled when he was pulled against the antichrists side under the umbrella.

"You're gonna catch a cold if you stay in the rain like that" he said shrugging out of his jacket and draping it over the brits shoulders.

At this point, poor Pip was extremely confused. Why would Damien Thorne, one of the most popular kids in school, be so nice to HIM, a _nobody_?

"The light turned green" Damien said, leading the blond across the street.

After Damien continued leading him down the road towards his house (and Pip **knew** Damien's house was in the opposite direction and thus was going completely out of his way to do so) Pip decided to ask the question that was bugging him.

"Um...Damien..." he asked, "Why are you being so nice to me?"

The black haired son of Satan looked at Pip for a long quiet moment before answering.

"Because you were nice to me

"What do you mean?"

"When I was brought to South park, you were the only one that would be friends with me, even knowing what and who I was. You showed me true kindness even though you COULD have bullied me like the other kids."

Pip remembered. He'd hung out with the devil spawn for a few weeks when he'd first arrived before the birthday party explosion. After that Damien had hung out with the more popular boys and Pip had been long forgotten.

Or at least he THOUGHT he had...

Damien stopped as they reached Pip's house. "Think you can make it from here?"

"Yes. I'll be fine. Thanks."

"No problem" Damien said turning and walking off. Pip was halfway across the driveway when he realized he was still wearing Damien's Jacket. He ran back to the fence, calling after the antichrist "Damien, wait, I still have your Jacket!"

Damien stopped and waved at him dismissively "Keep it, I can get another. You need it more than me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, what're friends for?" Damien said turning the corner and disappearing from view.

Pip turned to go inside. He made it all the way to his room before he even realized Damien had called him his friend.

**40. Spider**

"Awl...isn't it cute?"

"A tarantula? Wouldn't you rather get a puppy?"

"Look how fuzzy it is!"

"More like hairy..."

"Please? I promise to feed it and clean out its cage and everything!"

Pip rubbed his temples as his boyfriend stared up at him, looking unbearably cute as he held up the tarantula cage.

"Fine...You're lucky I love you, you crazy little antichrist..."

**41. Stroke**

Damien, evil warlord and supreme overlord of the planet capable of blowing up buildings with a glance and toppling mountains with minimal effort as always reduced to a puddle of whimpering bliss when his consort and queen of darkness, Pip, stroked his cute pink tongue over his earlobe as he perched on his masters lap in his throne.

**42. Control**

Damien had little control over his anger or his strength.

He was quick tempered and had no regard for what happened to those around him when he threw fireballs around willy-nilly.

But when his best friend Pip had gotten in the crossfire one fateful occasion and had to be rushed to the intensive care unit, his body covered with various burns and unable to attend school for nearly a month and a half, Damien made a point to keep his temper in check, even around the annoying fatass that was Cartman.

**43. Lonely**

Once upon a time in a far away land, there lived a fair Prince named Phillip. He was beloved throughout the kingdom for his lovely singing. His voice was as sweet as a meadowlark and as soft as a trickling stream and many came from far away just to hear him sing. One morning his parent awoke in horror to find their child had been stolen away by an evil warlock who lived in the Shadow Mountains at the edge of their kingdom.

The warlock kept the boy in a gilded cage in his castle and forced him to sing for him night and day. For many years, his parents would send the strongest knights in the land to try to rescue him. But all had failed, for the moment they entered the castle they'd become so entranced by the prince's beautiful voice that the warlock was easily able to capture them and enslave them with curses that would turn them into his loyal minions.

The warlock laughed at their pitiful efforts, content in the knowledge that he was the only one who would hear the prince sing.

And so, having no one to keep him company but his master, the prince grew lonely.

One day in a last ditch effort they set forth a proclamation that anyone who could save their son could have whatever wish he asked.

Not long after this, a clever, devilishly handsome, but lonely knight dressed in black armour named Damien, who had been banished from his own kingdom for slandering his king's name, came to them. He swore that not only could he save the prince, he could do it in one week. The King and Queen were doubtful, but sent the knight on his way. Taking the fastest horse in the kingdom, the Black Knight approached the castle of the Warlock. Rather than enter right away as the other knights had done before him, he waited and watched. For five days he watched the happenings of the castle, learning its way and schedules. On the sixth day, after the warlock had left to perform his wicked deeds, the black knight entered the castle. The Black knight was unseen in the shadows of the castle thanks to his armour as he quickly made his way to the throne room and found the prince, who was sleeping peacefully in his cage.

Knowing if he awoke his voice would hypnotize him; the Black Knight lifted the prince out and hid him away. He entered the cage himself and his under his blankets. When the warlock returned, he called for the prince to sing for him. When there was no stirring from the sheets, the warlock entered the cage to see if his pet had taken ill. When he pulled back the blankets, The Black Knight raised his sword and stabbed the Warlock through the heart, killing him. Retrieving the Prince from his hiding spot, the Black Knight carried the prince out of the castle and awoke him.

The lonely prince was so pleased to have finally been saved that he began singing with joy and gratitude. The lonely, lusty Black Knight, already taken with the prince's beauty, was charmed by his voice. He immediately declared his love and shred his clothing, ravaging the Prince then and there.

The Prince was, suffice to say, shocked, but enjoyed himself immensely and sang his pleasure loudly.

When they reached the castle, the very rumpled looking, sore-throated prince, and the equally rumpled, and smirking black knight were very quickly wed. And they lived happily ever after.

**44. Virus**

Pip set a bowl of warm chicken broth on the bedside table beside as his master sniffled.

"How are you feeling, Damien?"

"Like shit. Stupid Flu virus...I'm gonna KILL Craig for coming in sick, I swear I am"

"Calm down, Damien. As long as you stay in bed and take your medicine, the doctor says you'll get better in a few days."

"I'm the son of Satan, I shouldn't be able to catch stupid human diseases..." the back haired youth pouted sniffling. Pip just smiled and dipped the head cloth on Damien's forehead in a bowl of ice water before putting it back on his head.

**45. Glow**

Most people instinctively shied away from Damien, especially when they were in a dark place when his inhuman eyes would dimly glow red with the hellfire burning deep within.

But not Pip, the Antichrist's best friend. He found everything about the possessive, moody, black clad boy interesting and calming. It seemed ridiculous to outsiders. He was the most dangerous boy in the school!

But he was also the only one who would never raise his hand to the brit, no matter how irritating his cheery nature could get from time to time.

When the school power suddenly went out in the snowstorm raging outside, shrouding the class in darkness, the only light came from Damien's demonic gaze.

"Oh, my, the lights went out!" Pip said as the class jumped to their feet, panicking in the dark.

Damien's eyes glowed a fiery red, making his silhouette seem even darker by comparison and causing nearby students to shrink away from him. The blond turned, spotting the eerie glow and reaching out, taking his hand without hesitation, squeezing trustingly.

Damien returned the gesture

* * *

><p><strong>37. Trucker: no comment<strong>

**38. Black pearl: they're gorgeous. I want one.**

**39. Umbrella: This was in a dream I had the other day and it was so sickeningly fluffy I just had to put it in**

**40. Spider: lol you thought it was pip, didn't you?**

**41. Stroke: ::nosebleed:: snicker:: Not so mighty right now, are you Damien?**

**42. Control: Damien learns to control his temper the hard way.**

**43. lonely: fairytales rule!**

**44. Virus: Damien forgot to get a flu shot. ::hands tissues::**

**45. Glow: So...cute...must...resist...urge... to hug laptop...**


	6. Chapter 6

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple o paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p>Chapter 6<p>

* * *

><p><strong>46. Mine<strong>

Eric Cartman looked over at the little blond playing with the toy tea set on the other side of the preschool playroom. He walked over, looking down at him. Pip looked up at the older boy and smiled

"Hi! Wanna play tea party with me?"

"Only girls play tea parties" the chubby four year old said before abruptly grabbing the bucket of block of the nearby shelf and dumping them over the blonds head. Pip whimpered as the blocks hit his head and knocked over the tea set. Cartman laughed as the blond teared up sniffling.

"Girly boy! Girly boy! Girly boy! Girly b-OWW!"

The chubby boy was suddenly knocked over as a fist made contact with his cheek. A black haired boy stood over him, pulling the blond close to him possessively

"Hands off, fat boy, he's MINE!"

Cartman began wailing like a banshee, crying for his mommy and running off. The blond smiled as little Damien, or Dami, as he was often called by his father, turned back to him. "You okay, Pippers?"

Pip wiped his eyes, beaming "I'm fine! Wanna play tea party?

"Sure."

**47. TV**

Damien and Pip sat back, eating popcorn as the images on the TV played out.

People screaming in terror, volcanoes spewing feiry molten lava and spewing ash into the sky. Earthquakes, tidal waves. Mass hysteria in epic proportions as the humans scrambled for safety.

Damien sipped a soda, grinning, "I love this show..."

Pip kicked his legs, "I say, I do feel sorry for them though."

"Don't be, they'll be joining us here soon enough," the antichrist reminded, wrapping an arm around the shoulder of his consort as the earthly realm fell in the face of the ragnarok. Pip leaned against his shoulder, stealing a sip of his soda as he mused that there some definite benefits to being the consort of the Antichrist.

After all, who else gets to snuggle with the future evil ruler of the universe?

**48. Cereal**

It never ceased to amaze Pip how utterly adorable his lover looked first thing in the morning wrapped in his black bathrobe, his hair ruffled from sleep and eyes still half hazy, eating a bowl of whatever super chocolaty cereal happened to be in the cabinets.

**49. Image**

"No."

"Oh, come on, Damien, for me?"

"No. I have an image to maintain! I will not wear that...that...THING!"

"Please Damien? I promise you'll have fun!"

"Why do I have to wear the stupid Harry Potter costume JUST to see the movie?"

"Because then I get to show off my big sexy boyfriend and you get to see all the people screaming and fighting just to see how sexy and powerful you are."

Damien sighed. He DID like to show off...

"Fine, but you have to blow me when this is over..." he said putting on the glasses as Pip continued applying the lightning bolt makeup.

"Thank you, Harry" Pip beamed, kissing his cheek, adjusting his own robes.

"Anything for you...Malfoy."

**50. Baby**

Pip rocked little Lucifer back and forth in the rocking chair as he hummed the tune of "God save the Queen" the infant drifting to sleep in his arms as his demonic father leaned over the back of the chair, winding his arms around his lovers waist, kissing his cheek affectionately.

"He's perfect, isn't he?"

Pip nodded, nuzzling his husband's cheek as they stared at the baby Pip had carried for nine months thanks to Damien's magic. "He looks just like you... thank goodness he's got MY temperament. I don't think I could handle TWO hot heads around here..."

Damien grinned as Pip rose and placed their baby in the crib, tucking him in for the night. He slid a hand under his shirt, running a hand along his stomach "Speaking of hot..."

Pip turned, wrapping his arms loosely around Damien's neck, "Daddy need some love?"

"No, Daddy needs some SEX."

Pip giggled, flicking his nose, "I'll see what I can do..."

**51. Close **

Pip:

_Why do birds fly away in fear?_  
><em>Every time, you are near?<em>  
><em>Unlike ME, they hate to be<em>  
><em>close to you.<em>

Damien:

Why do stars fall down from the sky?  
><span>Every time you walk by<span>  
><span>Just like me they long to be<span>  
><span>Close to you<span>

Pip:

_On the day that you were born_  
><em>the demons got together and decided<em>  
><em>to make a nightmare come true<em>

Damien:

Angels sprinkled moon dust in your hair  
><span>of gold and starlight in your eyes of blue<span>

Both:

_That is why all the guys in town_  
><em>run away when you come around<em>  
><em>unlike ME, They hate to be <em>  
><em>Close to you<em>

_Unlike ME...  
>They hate to be...<em>  
><em>Close to you...<em>

**52. Coin**

"Damien, why do they call it "Coining a phrase?"

"I have no idea...maybe you had to get it patented and back then they only had coins?"

"Who knows..." the blond shrugged as they turned back to their text books as they read the required reading for Mr. Garrisons English assignment.

**53. Power**

The now 16 year old Pip was very surprised one evening of visiting the Underworld to study with his best friend since fourth grade, when all the flames of Hell suddenly went out.

"Oh, Damnit, Dad forgot to pay the power bill again..." Damien face palmed.

Pip gaped at his friend

"You have a power bill?"

"Yeah, did you think the Fire demons work for free?"

**54. Death**

Pip opened his eyes, confused. The last thing he remembered was facing mecha Streisand and getting stepped on.

"Where...where am I?"

"Pip?"

The brit's eyes widened as he turned, seeing a boy clad in black striding over to him, pulling him to his feet, "How'd you get here?"

"Oh, Damien! Nice to see you again! As for being here...I suppose I died...This is Hell, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Only Mormons and Buddhists go to heaven."

"Oh, yes I believe I heard Stan and Eric talking about that once...Oh dear, am I going to be tortured and all that business?" he asked, suddenly worried.

Damien snapped his fingers, summoning what looked like a demonic version of a clipboard. "Mm...Your file says 'no'. Apparently you've already been tortured so much when you were alive, that you met your quota."

"Oh. Well that's good." Pip said cheerfully.

"Yeah, I guess," Damien nodded with a shrug as he sat beside the blond on the edge of the cliff they were perched on, quite a bit away from the other souls, who WERE due to be punished and were therefore sent to the main entrance.

"So, what do we do now?" Pip asked, raising an eyebrow, joining his friend in sitting. Damien sat there for a moment, thinking.

"Wanna go play a videogame? Kenny should be arriving soon and we could always use a third player on guitar hero."

"Sounds like a plan!" Pip said happily, smiling at the demon spawn.

Pip stared at the demons and souls down below, glancing at the blond, idly wondering if HE was what his father was referring to when he said Damien would be getting a surprise for his birthday...

* * *

><p><strong>46. Mine: Oh, Cartman, don't you know better than to play with Damien's toys?<strong>

**47. TV: because what demon_ wouldn't_ want to watch the apocalypse on a big screen TV?**

**48. Cereal: No comment**

**49. Image: My favorite pairing dressing up as my least favorite pairing for the movie I'm gonna watch tonight^^ I love fanfiction**

**50. Baby: continuation of "clock" from chapter 2 betcha didn't think you'd see a sequel to THAT!**

**51. Close: Sucky Song parodies FTW**

**52. Coin: o.0 why DO they say that?**

**53. Power: What do they pay the bill with?**

**54. Death: My take on what happened when Pip died in 201.**


	7. Chapter 7

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple of paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p>Chapter 7<p>

* * *

><p><strong>55. Blood<strong>

Damien's eyes were wide as he looked at the blood marring the whiteness of the snow. Blood seeping from the various wounds tattooing the slim figure of the blond that had just been dumped onto his front lawn so callously by his step father, whom had driven away with a peal of tire rubber and a cry of "Faggot trash"

Pips alcoholic stepfather had finally discovered his relationship with the black haired devil he'd been friends with since elementary school. And he'd been horribly punished for it. Damien knelt down, partially lifting the broken and bruised body of his lover, wincing as he heard a shaky whimper escape the boy's throat.

"D-D-Dami...en..." he wheezed through a mouth still half full of blood from knocked out teeth and a bitten tongue.

The Antichrist stroked his bruised forehead gently "Shh...It's okay Pip...I've got you...I'll make it better..."

It was partially true. He had the power to repair Pips body to make it was if the attack had never happened. And he WOULD.

But the emotional damage would take much longer to heal. If ever...

He gingerly lifted the blond and carried him inside.

**56. Pain**

_I see through the pain_  
><em>I feel your darkness<em>  
><em>I hear the cries<em>  
><em>that you hide deep within<em>

_Forever alone_  
><em>lost in the world<em>  
><em>a little black demon<em>  
><em>who wants to belong<em>

_I'll share your pain_  
><em>I'll give you my light<em>  
><em>I'll take on the burden<em>  
><em>of your inner evil<em>

_Together forever_  
><em>I'll always find you<em>  
><em>I, the yellow haired misfit<em>  
><em>will love you, my friend.<em>

**57. Aim**

"Ohhh!"

"Pip..."

"Harder!"

"Unh...like this?"

"Yes! Right there...It feels sooo good!"

"Heh! Of course it does!"

"Do that twisty thing you do!"

Damien chuckled and complied. Pip griped the sheets beneath him, moaning loudly and melting against the bed.

"Oh, Damien...I love it when you give me back massages..."

Damien smiled as his hands worked the knotted muscles of the brit lying beside him on the bed. "It's the least I can do after you won that tournament for us." The blonde shrugged his shoulders "Well, dodge ball is my best sport. It's just a shame my aim is only at its peak when I'm pissed off... It always stresses me out when I play...I'm not bloody French!"

Damien laughed as he continued working his friends shoulders, "Of course not, you limey bastard. You're as British as they come."

**58. Congeal**

Before he'd moved to South Park, Damien's life had congealed into a mass of anger, unacceptance, and reproach.

But after being forced to move there as part of one of his father's latest schemes, a certain annoyingly perky blond exchange student had been thrown into the mix and undone everything.

**59. Servant**

Life as a servant to the leader of a village of strange Island Dwellers wasn't all that bad, as the Ex-cabin boy found out. His master, D'am-in, never asked more of him than he could provide. Pip was largely in charge of keeping the royal hut clean, preparing meals, and mending clothes. All of which he was good at, thanks to his experience on the pirate ship. He was even learning the local language, thanks to his master, who always took time out of his day to sit him down and teach him a few words. This was a blessing, since Pip could now understand most of what was spoken around him, and it made him feel more at ease not to have to worry what sort of things the villagers were talking about when they looked at him. For the first few weeks, he'd been terrified that they were plotting to snatch him up and do away with him in some horrible manner.

Imagine how embarrassed he felt when he found out they were mostly just saying how pretty his hair was?

One day, after a long, but successful hunt in the jungle, D'am-in entered the hut, looking very pleased with himself.

"P'ip! I have succeeded in killing no less than 23 rainbow birds!"

Pip looked up from the cooking pot, where he was preparing some broth. "Congratulations, master. Parrots are hard to catch."

D'am-in strode over his servant, his grin wicked and mischievous, "Come..."

Pip raised an eyebrow as he was tugged to his feet and led into his master's bedchamber, "What do you need me to do?"

D'am-in shoved his servant into the large pile of furs he slept in, attacking his neck with kisses and nips. Pip squeaked in confusion at the sudden attack, "Master! What are you-?"

D'am-in silenced him with a hard kiss and pulled back, removing his primitive clothing, "I intend on making a cloth of rainbow bird feathers and presenting them to you."

Pip blushed hard as his brain processed this. Presenting someone with something like that was a proposal of marriage. This he had learned in one of his many lessons with his master regarding customs.

"B-but Master, I'm just a servant! And a boy!"

D'am-in waved his hand dismissively and again began attacking his neck and lips with kisses while allowing his hands to explore his body, saying several words Pip didn't yet know. Pip couldn't help but moan as those hot hands explored his body, sending tingling sensations up his spine and into his belly as a certain part of his anatomy got very very hard.

"Master...please, I-"

Again he was silenced with kisses as his master promised that he would enjoy himself, and that he would be gentle.

Pip, not really feeling up to resisting his master anyway, decided to go along with what he wanted and laid back against the soft furs, hoping very much that it would be as good as it was in the dreams he'd been having for the past few weeks.

**60. Pens**

Damien Texted the number in his hot pink cell phone for what had to be the 30th time.

And for the 30th time, there was no respond.

Damien frowned. It had been an hour. A full hour. And Pip had yet to text him back.

This was unheard of!

Damien growled, clenching his fists.

"HOW DARE HE! That foolish boy has the **audacity** to ignore the **Antichrist**? I give that British brat time out of my busy schedule, only to be repaid with such disrespect? HE SHALL FEEL THE WRATH OF DAMIEN!"

000000ooooo000000

A little while later...

000000ooooo000000

Pip rummaged through his pencil bag, a confused expression on his face, "Oh my...where have all my Pen caps gone?"

Butters, who had asked for said Pen, frowned sympathetically, "Shucks, Pip. Now your cellphone is dead AND your pens are gonna dry up..."

Pip sighed sadly and re-zipped the pouch.

**61. Wreck**

Pip looked around the house in shock.

It was a wreck

Damien lay in the middle of the floor, a beer bottle in one hand and a pineapple in the other. He sat up groggily, looking up at the Brit.

Pip crossed his arms, "Damien..." he said dangerously.

Damien laughed nervously, "Uh...happy birthday?"

**62. Imprint**

Damien never thought it was possible for him to reach an emotion beyond rage. But when he saw the dark blue imprint of fists on his roommate, Pips, torso when they'd undressed to do some laundry. He discovered how very wrong he was.

Especially when he learned it was the work of the captain of their college football team, Eric Cartman, who had put them there for nothing more saying hello during lunch.

**63. Subtle**

When Damien one day walked up to Pip and promptly told him that he was now his boyfriend and would be having very raunchy sex on a daily basis, followed by a very hot, wet, passionate kiss in the middle of the school hallway one Monday morning, Pip was forced to realize that his best friend didn't know the meaning of the word subtle.

* * *

><p><strong>55. Blood- gasp! poor pip! save him damien!<strong>

**56. Pain- no comment**

**57****. Aim- muahahaha. you thought they were smexxing XD**

**58. Congeal-no comment**

**59. Servant- continuation of Hobble**

**60. Pens- based on "damien's revenge" on dA by HelloSophie go fave it NOW!**

**61. Wreck- wtf pinapple?**

**62. Imprint- no comment**

**63. subtle- damien isn't**

_Damien: Subtle? what's that?_

**Me: see?**


	8. Chapter 8

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple of paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p>Chapter 8<p>

* * *

><p><strong>64. Teething-<strong>

Pip wraped the bandage around Damien's finger as he pouted, watching their son from across the room, who was knawing on the bill of his rubber ducky making contented cooing noises.

"You know he didn't mean to," Pip said, securing the bandage with some medical tape. His husband scoffed, pulling his hand away and inspecting the bandage.

"Yeah, sure he didn't."

"Damien..."

"What, he's half demon!" the Antichrist defended.

"He's a** baby** and he's _teething_. You shouldn't have put your finger near his mouth in the first place. You know he's hurting."

"HE'S hurting?" Damien asked, holding up his finger.

"You'll get over it," Pip declared walking over to the baby and picking him up, the black haired infant giggled as his Daddy lifted him up, snuggling into his chest. Damien scowled. "Just whose side are you on?"

"Lucifer's."

**65. Protest- **

Damien grunted as he pumped his hips back and forth, the blong beneath him moaning loudly and sooo tight...

"Pip, I'm gonna come..."

"Hahh...Damien..."

"You ready?"

"Ahhh! Yes! Please!"

The black haired demon threw his head back in a howl as he slammed his hips against the brits, spots dancing before his eyes

"Pip!"

"Ahhhh-hahhhh! Damien! It's so hot! Ohhhh, it feels so good!" he cried as he arched against his lover before falling limp against the black silk sheets that adorned the lavish, king sized bed.

Damien chuckled as he rolled off the blond, pulling him close as they came down from their shared high. Pip snuggled next to his boyfreind, almost purring as Damien wrapped an arm possesivly around his waist.

"Wow...that was amazing..."

"See, now don't you feel silly about protesting earlier?"

Indeed, Pip felt very silly. Never again would he protest making love to his demonic lover in the bedroom of his step-parents while they were downstairs watching _Keeping Up Appearences._

"Yeah...Wanna go for round two?"

**66****. Collide-**

_Mortal and Demon  
><em>_Commoner and Prince  
><em>_Wholesome and Impure  
><em>_So different  
><em>_Impossible  
><em>_Yet alike  
><em>_Inevitable  
><em>_A miracle or a curse?  
><em>_When worlds Collide_

**67. Estate-**

"So, this is Havisham Manor?" Damien asked as his freind led him up the walkway to the stately mansion.

"Oh, no, the old one burned down when we killed Mrs. Havisham. This is Havisham _Estate_" Pip corrected, "It's where Estella lives with Pocket. After we broke up, She and Pocket started going out and now they're married."

"I see."

"Yes. Oh! I can't wait to surprise them!"

Damien grunted. It was tea time here and Pip had made him dress accordingly when they surprised them. "I get the suit, but WHY do I have to wear the monocle again?"

"Because it makes you look handsom and dignified," Pip said as he rang the doorbell to be greeted moments later by a buck-toothed redhead

"Pip? Well blow me down! Estella darling come quick, it's Pip!" He turned back to the blonde "What a surprise, yes this is, we were just about to have tea you know! What a treat this shall be!"

The lovely, large breasted blond hurried to the door, "Oh my, look what the cat vomited up on his own wart-covered, puss-ridden scrotum."

**68. Gentle-**

Pips eyes opened wearily. His head throbbed and he was sore all over. His skin felt cold and sticky. A black haired figure was gently rubbing a warm, wet washcloth over his face. It felt good.

"Pip, thank Satan you're finaly awake..."

"Damien? Where am I?" He croaked, his voice sounding hoarse and raw in his ears.

"My house. Try not to move, the healing spells I'm using are taking longer than I thought. If you move too much your wounds could open up again."

Wounds?

Oh, yes, now it was coming back to him...

His step father had gotten drunk and found out he was having sex with Damien. Then he'd beaten him up pretty badly until he'd blacked out.

"Is my step father-"

"No. He dumped you on my lawn. I called the police" Damien assured, as he brushed some hair out of Pips face. Pip reached out, wincing, and squeezed Damiens hand.

"Don't let them make me go back, Damien...I don't want to go back..." he begged, tearing up as he remembered the blind hatred, and pain, the smell of alcohol so thick it was dizzying.

"Shh..." Damien said, brushing his jaw with his knuckles delicatly. "You're not going anywhere, Phillip, I promise."

Pip calmed as Damien said his full name, his eyelids drooping. Damien cradled his head in his lap, "Go back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

And with that, the brit allowed his eyes to drift back closed, sinking into sleep once again, this time to reassurances rather than curses of hate.

**69. Chainsaw-**

Damien could only sit back in amusment at how...oddly violent Pip seemed whenever picked up a chainsaw to work on an ice sculpture.

The stabbing, lunging, grunts and groans, and, possibly the best part, the manical, crazed laughter as he swung the piece of equipment around to shoo off a certain nosey fatass trying to spy on him.

**79. Genie-**

"So let me get this strait...You'll grant me whatever three wishes I want?"

"Yes. Though I should warn you, you have to be REAL careful about the hubris in your wishes. You need to be precise or I'm bound to fuck it up. No turns of phrase or slang. Details are very important."

"I see...Thank you for the warning. Are there any rules like in the movies?"

"I can't bring people back to life, I can't personaly kill anyone for you, and no wishing for more wishes."

"Ah. Noted."

"So, are you ready to make your first wish, Master?"

"Not just now. And you can call me Damien," the blacked haired youth said looking up at the yellow-haired soft-spoken genie sitting a few feet away on thin air.

"What's your name?"

"I don't have an official one. You can call me what you like."

"Hmmm...How about...Pip?"

The Genie smiled, "Oh, I like that, master. I mean, Damien..."

**80. Terminate-**

Pipi lay face down on her bed, pouting something awful, punching her pillows as Danielle yelled into the phone at their lawyer at his utter incompetance and threatening the seventh circle of hell if he didn't come through for them on the lawsuit.

Pipi had been terminated for not reciprocating when her boss had come onto her.

And her lawyer wasn't accomplishing much.

"Listen, you'd better do somethng about this or My father will deal with you, maggot!" Danielle said, slamming the hook on the reciever. She walked over to the bed she shared with her room mate, "Don't worry Pips, we'll get that scuzzball."

"I hope so Danielle. I can't believe that bloody wanker is actually saying_ I_ came onto _him!"_

Danielle patted her back, "Yeah, well, no jury is ever gonna believe that old dick head. He's so ugly he couldn't pay a succubus to sleep with HIM. Now come on, lets go pig out on ice cream and watch a scary movie."

Pipi smiled at that, hugging the demoness.

"Dani, you always know just how to make me feel better."

"Course I do, I'm awesome."

**81. Affair-**

Pip was quite sure if his wife Estella, through an arranged and virually loveless marriage, knew he was having an affair with their gardener, Damien Thorne, she would surely be furious.

Then again, she didn't have any room to talk with all those men SHE brought home when he was away on business trips, did she?

* * *

><p><strong>64. Teething- continuation of clock and baby<strong>

**65. Protest- oh, damien, you naughty boy...**

**66****. Collide- I like poetry, there I said it.**

**67. Estate- prequel to monocle**

**68. Gentle- OOC I know, I already beat myself up for you.**

**69. Chainsaw- I think Pip would be one of those guys who turns crazy around power tools, don't you?**

**79. Genie- no comment.**

**80. Terminate- what's this? A semi-sequel to Bra? ::gasp:: someone call ripleys! return of the genderbends!**

**81. Affair- arranged marriages blow. down with the system!**


	9. Chapter 9

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple of paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p>Chapter 9<p>

* * *

><p><strong>82. Puzzles<strong>

"I love puzzles! What a jolly good way to pass the time!" Pip said as he dug through the closest in which he kept the board games. Damien sighed, looking bored at his best friend's idea of entertainment.

"Puzzles are stupid...Can't we do something fun like set Cartman's house on fire?"

"Damien..." Pip said, giving him an "oh, you" hand wave and smiling coquettishly.

"Oh, come on, just a TEENSY little fire? Like in the kitchen? Just to scare him?"Damien begged, using the tone he knew Pip couldn't resist.

Pip bit his bottom lip as Damien used his begging tone. He was bad at resisting his devilish friend. He was sure that was a bad thing, considering he was the son of Satan, but, hey, no one's perfect, right?

"Well...maybe. But only AFTER we finish the puzzle. I've been waiting all week to be able to have enough time to put it together, it has over 12,000 pieces."

"...And they say I'M evil..."

"It's not that bad Damien, I'm sure with two of us it'll just fly by! First we need to find the edge pieces..."

Damien snapped his fingers; Pip gasped the puzzle pieces flew out of the box and swirled around in the air before assembling themselves on the floor, forming the image of the famous Mona Lisa.

"There, I put it together. Now can we burn down Cartmans house?"

Pip scowled at Damien, crossing his arms, trying to look cross "I wanted to put it together by HAND."

"You said you wanted it put together."

Pip sighed, turning away from the Antichrist, his expression melting into sadness.

"You just don't get it, Damien..."

Damien sighed. He hated it when Pip was upset with him. Knowing he was going to kick himself later, he reached down and broke the puzzle, scrambling up the pieces. He'd never been very good at resisting Pip's sad face. This was probably a bad thing considering he was son of the devil and should be above humoring mortals.

Pip turned, hearing the noise. Seeing Damien picking through the pieces to find the edge pieces. Giving a smile, Pip Joined the demon on the floor.

Damien's usual frown edged up into a half smile. No matter how weak he felt for giving into his friend's whimsies, seeing Pip smile was always worth it.

**83. Trust**

"Do you Trust me, Pip?"

"I'll always trust you, Damien"

"Even if I blew you up again?"

"I'd still trust you."

"What if I killed your friends and Family?"

"They're all assholes, that'd just give me MORE reason to trust you"

"What if I raped you?"

"I'd trust you to make it up to me"

"What if I told you I hated you?"

"You'd never do that."

"But what if I did?"

"Then I'd trust that you would apologize for it later."

"What if I killed you?"

"...Then I would trust that you did it because I deserved it somehow."

Damien wrapped his arms around the blond, pulling him close as they snuggled in the soft silk sheets of his bedroom, "I would never kill you, though, even if you did deserve it."

"I know," Pip said kissing his lover on the cheek, "What prompted this Q and A?"

"I just needed to know."

"So even demons can have self-doubt sometimes, huh?"

"Shut up, Pip."

The brit smiled as the demon tightened his grip on him.

"I love you Damien..."

"I love you too, Pip."

**84. Separate**

"And then you swirl it around until it's nice and loose and that's When you put it in and start going until- Damien, will you stop giggling, I'm trying to teach you how to separate the white from the yolks to make the custard!"

Damien cleared his throat, still chuckling. "Sorry. It's just, the way you said that sounded like you were describing..." He trailed off.

The brit 'humphed', and continued whisking the mixture in the bowl, "Pervert..."

**85. Anxiety**

"Come on, Lucifer, you can do it, come to daddy!" Damien said as the toddler pushed himself to his feet and began shakily making his way towards him. Pip watched, filming it on his video camera. As the toddler reached the halfway point, he tripped over his own foot and hit the carpeted floor with a small grunt.

Damien's eyes widened anxiously, "Luci!"

Pip patted his shoulder, "Give him a second...See? Don't be such a scaredy cat" he said as the toddler stood again, not even sniffling at the fall as he began waddling across the floor again towards his parents. Pip smiled as Lucifer giggled when he reached his father, who quickly checkked hi over for any injuries or nefarious boo-boos.

"He's a tough little guy! Aren't you, sweetie?" He said picking his son up and kissing him, "Daddy's just a big old' silly worry wart!"

Lucifer giggled again as his 'mommy' put him down and he toddled off towards his toys, leaving a now very happy Damien to grab his cell phone to call his father to tell him all about his son's first steps.

**86. Cold**

My life was a barren wasteland of Ice and snow and false smiles and understanding.

I was cold, frozen in place by the hatred and disinterest of those I shared my life with. Eric, Stanley, Kyle, Kenny, Butters, all of them, too many for me to name, though I could if I wanted to.

And then HE came.

The black haired boy with the high pitched voice and eyes of fire. A demon. Son of Satan. I was too numb to be afraid. I alone reached out to him.

His presence burned me like fire.

I liked it.

Oh, I know he left me as soon as he got a better opportunity, but the warmth of his camaraderie; no matter how brief it had been, lingered within me.

Maybe it was that fire, that unholy warmth he instilled in me in our brief friendship that made me think I could stop Mecha Streisand. It doesn't matter now; I'm dead, aren't I? I'm in Hell with the other non-Mormons. You'd think after suffering so much I'd catch a break in the afterlife.

Ah, well. Life's not fair is it?

At least I'm not cold anymore.

**87. Razor**

_Pip:__  
><em>Your love is like a razor's cut<em>_

_It burns like fiery ice_

Damien:  
><strong>Your love is like a flowers kiss<strong>

**So soft and warm and nice**

_Both:__  
><strong>Our love is a Thorny Rose<strong>_

_**Beautiful, dangerous, ecstasy**_

**88. Revelations**

And so the apocalypse came. And there was fire and brimstone and suffering. The devil and his son stood side by side as they watch the world burn and society crumble while boy with blond hair, a red blazer and brown cap stood not far from them, observing the scene with a mixture of sadness, and relief.

He pitied those who were going through the apocalypse. He didn't want them to suffer, but it was finally OVER. No more anticipation or false prophets. No more war or hunger or discontent. Everyone was finally going to a place where everyone was equal and lived in relative peace. A place he'd gone long ago when he'd died at the tender age of 9 and a half. Where he was reunited with his once - and future- friend.

The hell spawn glanced over at his friend and walked over "Something wrong Pip?"

The blond glanced up at him, shaking his head, " No. Nothing at all."

"Wanna go watch the cats and dogs try to make hybrid offspring?" the demon prince offered.

Pip smiled "Sure."

**89. After**

Pip stood there as Damien told what he could remember of the party. He'd been made to clean the entire house . ALONE. And do all the normal chores. ALONE. And to avoid sleeping alone, he was trying to explain himself. Pip was still annoyed with him, but listened anyway.

"And after we got rid of the goat, we all drank some more, and then I kinda passed out."

"Okay, I understand the human sacrifice, and evil lion-goat monster, and booze, but I still have one question."

"What's that?"

"What's with the pineapple?"

Damien looked at the fruit he'd been lying next to, which was now being used as a centerpiece to their coffee table.

"I have no idea."

**90. Bookmark**

Damien knew Pip was good at arts and crafts. He was always one of the top students in the class. As was Damien, of course, being the son of the devil, he possessed a wide array of skills.

But one day, during a particularly long and boring science lesson from Mr. Garrison, he saw Pip doodling on the back of his bookmark and leaned over to look at it, only to see a stunningly real-looking sketch of himself watching Pip violently murdering Eric Cartman with a chainsaw while wearing a look of wicked glee on his normally placid and gentle face.

"Oh, dear Satan..." he muttered to himself, feeling a tingle go down his spine.

He was sooo stealing that later and jerking off to it.

* * *

><p><strong>82. Puzzles- yeah, this fluffiness was random first thing in the morning dream fluff.<strong>

**83. Trust- no comment**

**84****. Seperation- in damien's defense, it does sound kind of like...stuff...**

**85. Anxiety- yet another installment of the Baby Lucifer shorts. lol Damien is such a concerned daddy!**

**86. Cold- damn, this is kinda emo, isn't it? O_O**

**87. Razor- poetry again!**

**88. Revelations-dogs and cats living together. in South Park universe, this includes sexxing each other lol**

**89. After- wtf is up with that pineapple?**

**90. Bookmark-oh, damien, you naughty naughty S and M...**


	10. Chapter 10

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple of paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p>Chapter 10<p>

* * *

><p><strong>90. Unfortunate<strong>

"You know, Pip, it really is unfortunate that you're trapped in such a state."

The genie looked up at his master. He was polishing his lamp, which had gotten a bit dingy, since he now spent most of his time with his master outside of the lamp.

"What do you mean, Master Damien?"

"Being forever bound to that lamp, forced to serve other masters, having your powers abused. It makes me sick."

"It DOES get a bit tiring, master, but-"

"Pip, I am ready to make my three wishes," Damien said with an evil smirk, his red eyes gleaming wickedly.

Pip blinked and straitened, facing at attention.

"I'm ready to receive your wishes, Master."

"Good. For my first wish, I wish that I had the ability to summon and manipulate fire and to turn people intro any form I choose."

Pip snapped his fingers. Damien felt a cool tingle run through his body and grinned.

"For my second wish, I wish that you were free."

Pips eyes widened. The gold wrist bands that were representative of his status as a slave of the lamp clattered to the floor. He rubbed his unshackled wrists, in shock.

"M-Master..."

"I'm not your master anymore," Damien said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders in a friendly manner, grinning.

"B-but, what about your third wish?"

Damien pulled the now free genie into his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist. "You don't need magic to grant my third wish. Because my third wish is for you to become my bride."

Pip gasped, but it was swallowed as Damien pressed his lips against the blondes for a long, fierce kiss. He gazed up at his former master, his cheeks a dark shade of pink.

"I love you, Pip. Will you do me the honor of granting that wish, my free genie?"

Pip licked his lips, leaning up for another kiss "I think I can grant that wish...Damien..."

The black haired man smiled. With his new powers, and Pip at his side, they were going to conquer the world.

Oh, he was SOOO looking forward to it.

**91. Scythe**

"Damien, are you sure it's okay that we took this?" The precocious 9 year old asked as he followed his black clad friend. The Antichrist scoffed. "I'm the son of Satan. I can take whatever I want."

"But the Grim Reapers Scythe? What are we going to DO with it?"

"Obviously, we're going to kill people."

The blonde stopped in his tracks, shuffling his feet nervously, "I don't think this is such a good idea...we'll get into an awful lot of trouble if-"

Damien whirled around, "Pip, don't be such a pussy. Besides didn't you say you wanted to make Fatass pay for what his did to you?"

"Well, Yes, but-"

"Well, yes, but NOTHING. Now come on. It'll be fine.

"Well, alright..." Pip said, tightening his grip on the scythe, wondering what Damien had up his sleeve.

**92. Series**

"Say it."

"I will not."

"Say it."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO."

"I command you to say it!"

"No."

"Say it or I won't be your friend anymore."

"You're bluffing."

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. You wanna find out?"

A growl. "FINE! Black Butler is the best Anime series ever!"

Pip patted the demon's shoulder affectionately, "There, now was that so hard?"

Damien grumbled, "I still prefer High School Of The Dead..."

**93. Falling**

_Tonight I'm so alone _  
><em>This sorrow takes a hold<em>_  
><em>Don't leave me here so cold<em>  
><em>Never want to be so cold <em>_

Pip tossed and turned in his bed, wincing as the bruise on his side flared with pain. His eyes filling with tears as he remembered WHOSE fist had put it there.

_Your touch used to be so kind_  
><em>Your touch used to give me life<em>  
><em>I've waited all this time<em>

Pip had waited for Damien. He had always waited after their last period for him so they could walk home together. Damien had emerged from the classroom, looking furious. Pip had rushed over to greet him. And the demon had whirled around and punched him twice in the face and once in the gut.

_I've wasted so much time_  
><em>Don't leave me alone<em>  
><em>'Cause I barely see at all<em>  
><em>Don't leave me alone<em>

He couldn't see from his swollen black eye. His heart ached, the image of Damien standing over him, looking at him as if in shock, before turning and running away, leaving him alone in the hall for the other students to gawk at and mock still replaying in his mind.

_I'm falling in the black_  
><em>Slipping through the cracks<em>  
><em>Falling to the depths can I ever go back?<em>  
><em>Dreaming of the way it used to be<em>  
><em>Can you hear me?<em>  
><em>Falling inside, falling inside the black<em>

Damien had always treated him as if he were special. That he and he alone was safe from any sort of anger or hatred that the antichrist could dish out. Because they were friends.

_You were my source of strength_  
><em>I've traded everything<em>  
><em>That I love for this one thing<em>  
><em>Stranded in the offering<em>

In exchange for the protection and the companionship, Pip had given up everything for the demon. His personal time, his affection, his soul...Not in the form of any contract, of course, it was just understood. Pip belonged to Damien in every way, and had since they'd first met.

_Don't leave me here like this_  
><em>Can't hear me scream from the abyss<em>  
><em>And now I wish for you my desire<em>  
><em>Don't leave me alone 'cause I barely see at all<em>  
><em>Don't leave me alone...<em>

Pip knew Damien. He knew didn't mean it. That it was just an accident; he hadn't MEANT to hurt him. He was just anger. At Cartman, his father, the world. But not HIM.

Never HIM.

The long, lonely walk home had been torture as he struggled to make it with only one good eye and a painful stitch in his side. But no one noticed him as he walked, busted lip, black eye. No one would pity him if they did. They ignored him because he was with HIM.

_I'm falling in the black_  
><em>Slipping through the cracks<em>  
><em>Falling to the depths can I ever go back<em>  
><em>Dreaming of the way it used to be<em>  
><em>Can you hear me?<em>

Pip stared at the ceiling of his room, hot tears seeping down his face. A warm hand reached out, a thumb rubbing across his cheek, wiping the tears away.

"Pip..."

The blond turned his head, the glowing red irises beside his bed peering at him from across the mattress. The nineteen year old gave a hiccup as the black haired Youth crawled in beside him, touching his bruised side delicately, fingers ghosting over the sensitive flesh.

"Damien?"

His answer was a ripple of magic through his body traveling like hot waves as his wounds healed. He was tugged and tucked against the soft black wool of the demon boy's sweater.

"I'm sorry, Pip...I didn't...I didn't know it was you who..." He trailed off, "I'm sorry..."

_Falling in the black_  
><em>Slipping through the cracks<em>  
><em>Falling to the depths can I ever go back<em>  
><em>Falling inside the black<em>  
><em>Falling inside, falling inside the black.<em>

Pip relaxed as he was pulled tight into his embrace. Wrapping his arms around the shaking boy. "I know Damien. It was my fault. I shouldn't have snuck up on you in such a bad mood."

"That's no excuse for what I did. You're the only friend I have, and I hurt you. I don't want to lose you..."

The brit ran a hand through the black hair, "You won't. I'm yours, Damien. For as long as you want me."

The two huddled together in the darkness, content, repentant, and at peace.

**94. Heaven**

"Damien?"

"What?"

"What's Heaven like?"

"Fluffy clouds full of Mormons playing stupid games like pin the tail on the donkey and making egg-carton art."

"I see...And Hell is parties all day long with lots of good real estate, gambling, sex, and awesome food. And a huge lake of lava that makes a great effect at luaus."

"Yup."

"Damien?"

"Yeah?"

"I think someone must have mixed them up. Hell sounds way better than Heaven."

Damien smirked, "Shh. It's a secret. Don't tell anyone about the conspiracy."

**95. Event**

"Can you describe the events on the night in question? Ms. Pirrup?"

"I was coming out of my office to go home and My boss came up to me. I thought he was just being friendly, but then he put his hand on my butt and offered me a promotion if I gave him a Blow Job. I refused, so he threatened to fire me if I didn't comply and touched my breasts. I slapped him and went home. The next day I got a call from the company that I had been fired."

"What was the reason given?"

"That I wasn't meeting performance requirements."

"And you HAD been meeting these requirements BEFORE the incident, yes Ms. Pirrup?"

"I have. My records will confirm that," she said, nodding to her lawyer, who opened up his briefcase and pulled out some papers, handing them to the bailiff, Who handed them to the judge, who read over it before nodding and handing it back to the bailiff to pass to the jury.

"Let the record state that Ms. Pirrups requirements were being met before the night in question. Defense, do you have any more questions?"

"No, your honor. No further questions" he said as he took a seat.

"Then let the Jury convene and return with their verdict," the judge said, banging his gavel, allowing Pipi to return to her seat. Danielle, who had been sitting with them, put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry. That ass wipe is gonna get when he deserves."

Pipi said nothing as her roommate rubbed her shoulders comfortingly.

After twenty minutes or so, the jury emerged and took their seats.

"Has the Jury reached a verdict?" The Judge asked.

"We have your honor. We find the defendant guilty of sexual harassment."

Pipi hugged Danielle as the judges gave his sentencing. something about community service and a very hefty fine to be paid to the prosecution, and cover the court costs.

"We won!"

"Told you. Let's go celebrate by going to an expensive restaurant, get wasted, and then I can use my powers to set that dick wad's house on fire."

Pipi grinned, "Sounds like a plan."

**96. Chat**

**demonboy-666 has signed in.**

**Iluvengland4-ever had signed in.**

**demonboy-666: **Hey, Pip.

**Iluvengland4-ever: **Hello, Damien.

**demonboy-666: **what's up?

**Iluvengland4-ever: **Playing online Chess with Pocket.

**demonboy-666: **who's winning?

**Iluvengland4-ever: **Me, of course. pocket sucks.

**demonboy-666: **:: evil smirk::

**Iluvengland4-ever: **that sounded rather insulting, didn't it?

**demonboy-666: **yup.

**demonboy-666: **I liked it^^

**demonboy-666: **insult him more.

**demonboy-666:**call him a bucked tooth moron!

**Iluvengland4-ever: **ur evil.

**demonboy-666: **damn strait.

**Iluvengland4-ever: **Why can't u be nice?

**demonboy-666: **I'm the son of Satan.

**Iluvengland4-ever: **bleh.

**demonboy-666: **U know u luv it.

**Iluvengland4-ever: **::sticks out tongue::

**demonboy-666: **::grin::

**Iluvengland4-ever: **::pouts::.

**Iluvengland4-ever: **Why do I hang out with u?

**demonboy-666: **::grin::because I'm awesome.

**Iluvengland4-ever: **ur about as awesome as a limp noodle

**demonboy-666: **that's not what you said last night, baby.

**Iluvengland4-ever:** ...

**Iluvengland4-ever has signed out**

**demonboy-666: **lol

**demonboy-666 has signed out**

**97. Monster**

"Pip...?"

"What is it?"

"Would you consider me a monster?"

"No."

"Too bad, cuz this would be really funny if you did," Damien snickered from under the bed, where he had hidden When Pip's step sister had come in to see what the noise was.

**98. Pizzazz**

" Remember class, this play has to be extra good, or the superintendent will cut our funding, "Mr. Garrison said as the students took their positions for their last rehearsal for the play "Remember to give it some pizazz!"

Damian turned to Pip and touched him with his finger, lighting him on fire and shooting him up into the air, where he exploded into a fantastical display of lights.

"Like that Mr. Garrison?"

"Uh...that was a little too MUCH pizazz. But good effort."

Pip yelled as he fell back to earth, landing on Kenny, covered with soot, but largely unhurt.

"Oh, my god! You killed Kenny!" Stan screamed in dismay

"You bastard!" Kyle yelled as they saw Kenny's flattened corpse.

Pip ignored them and went over to Damien "Did he like it?" he asked, dusting himself off.

"He said exploding you was a bit much, so we should probably turn it down a notch..."

"Oh, bullocks...I really like exploding, too..." Pip pouted as they went to the dressing rooms to get their costumes.

* * *

><p><strong>90. Unfortunate- conclusion to genie<strong>

**91. Scythe- ooh, I wonder what they're gonna do to cartman!**

**92. Series-no comment**

**93. Falling-songfic. Damien got in trouble over soemthing Cartman did and got pissed off about it. Didn't see Pip and ended up hitting him, thinking his was someone else ::coughs:: Butters ::cough::**

**94. Heaven- no comment**

**95. Event- sequel to terminate**

**96. Chat- and here's the obligatory IMing story**

**97. Monster- thumbs up if you want Damian under YOUR bed^^**

**98. Pizzaz- Pip is either a masochist, or Damien makes exploding feel good. Or both. either way, I think it's awesome**


	11. Chapter 11

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple of paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p>Chapter 10<p>

* * *

><p><strong>99. Romance<strong>

Damien looked at his boyfreind of...going on about three years now. Being the son of Satan, love and romance were strange, hard to grasp concepts for him. But that never seemed to stop him from trying to please his blond counterpart.

He'd surprised him with a bouquet of his favorite flowers, a cheesy (in his opinion) love note, and a box of chocolates for Valentines day. He'd been nervous when Pip had begun tearing up, thinking maybe the gift was so badThat it had reduced him to tears.

You can imagine how shocked he was when Pip had jumped on him and proceeded to do very rated R things to him to show just how much he appreciated his efforts.

**100. Telephone**

Pip tapped his foot impatiently on the floor as he stood before Damien with a scowl, the melted and ruined phone sitting on the glass table in between them.

Damien looked away, pouting "The telemarketers wouldn't stop calling!"

**101. Broom**

"So if I sit on the broom, I'll fly?"

"Yup."

"You're not just pulling my leg are you, Eric?"

"No, really! It's a magic broom. If you sit on it you'll fly" the overweight fourth grader said, barely holding back a snicker. The british boy eagerly straddled the broom and waited. He frowned after several long minutes.

"Um... it's not doing anything..."

Cartman smirked and creeped up behind him, "Oh, don't worry, it will..."

He surged forward and shoved the blond off the roof. Pip let out a scream as he plummeted off the roof towards the ground below. Cartman began laughing histerically, certain of the brits fall of doom that would surely be enough to break some of his bones.

Which was why he nearly pissed his pants when Pip suddenly pulled up, whooping like the excited 9 year old he was as he zoomed around on the broom.

"THIS IS SO BLOODY COOL!"

"What? b-but it's just a broom! How did he?"

As Cartman sputtered in disbelief, The black haired freind of the brit stood below, watching his freind zoom overhead with a smirk as he held up a finger and moved it back and forth, using his powers to keep the broom, and it's passenger aloft

"Cartman really shouldn't discuss his pranks with his freinds so loudly..." he muttered with wicked delight in the knowledge that as soon as Cartman tried to take a ride-as his greedy nature would surely drive him to do- that he was gonna be the one falling off the roof.

**102. Silver**

"What's that?"

Pip tilted his head at the antichrust as they made their way towards their chemistry class "What's what, Damien?"

The black haired youth narrowed his eyes and reached up, plucking a long hair from the brits head.

"Ouch!" he yelped,"What did you do that for?"

Damien held the hair in front of the blonds face "notice anything odd about this hair?"

Pip leaned in close, insecting it before his eyes widened as gasped "iI's grey! I know Eric and his freind pickon me a lot, but I didn't think I was THAT stressed!"

Damien dropped the haor, letting it float down to the floor "Silver hairs on a 15 year old, let alone my consort, are not acceptable..." he said as they resumed walking towards class. Damien gave a smirk, wrapping an arm casualy around his shoulders in a possessive gesture as they neared the classroom "So we'll have to do something about it, won't we?"

"What did you have in mind?"

Damien's eyes just glinted evily.

**103. Knight**

"I dub thee, SIR Phillip Purrip" Said the aging woman, tapping the sword to each of Pip's shoulders.

Pocket, Estella, and Damien clapped Damien stood, looking elated.

"Oh, this is so wonder,ful you know!Pip becoming a knight and all that!" the redhead spoke, dabing his eyes with a handkerchief.

"Quite," Estella areed "Who would've believed that little pus-maggot had it in him to kill all those zombie-chickens single handedly?"

"Especially when they were fireing those nuclear bazooka cannons at him" Damien added.

"I'm just relieved that he was able to prevent them from forcing the queen to marry their evil turkey overlord and conquiring the world that would've been the worst christmas ever!" Pocket said.

The three of them nodded.

**104. Twine**

"Hey Pip wanna know something evil?"'

"Um, sure I guess."

"If you shove twine up someones nose...you can make it come out of their eye."

"Oh, I already knew that" Pip said, shrugging

A raised eyebrow "...You did?"

"Yup. I did it to Kenny when called me French."

Damien looked at Pip silently for several long minutes.

"Who are you and what have you done with Pip?"

Pip blinked and laughed, waving hia hand dismisivly "Oh, Damien, you say the funniest things!" the blond said smiling warmly, "Now come on, lets get going, didn't you say you needed me to help your dads attic?"

"Oh right. Let's go."

**105. Pay back**

Cartman walked into school, his skin pale and his whole form trembling. Sna, Kyle, and Kenny looked at him with concerned expressions

"Whoa, Cartman, dude, you look like shit..."

"ymmh wghj hfmpend?"

"Is something wrong?"

The overweight boy shook his head, swallowing hard, "N-no...I'm alright..."

Damien and Pip walked past.

"Good morning, Eric."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH "He's gonna steal my soul!" Cartman screamed, running down the hall as ffast as his chubby legs could carry him.

Damien laughed as Cartman's 'freinds' looked at the two of the with puzzled expressions.

"Looks like fatass learned his lesson, huh Pip?"

"I guess so, Damien" Pip said with a shrugg.

Stan gave them an increduous look "YOU guys did that? Holy shit, what did you guys DO to him?"

"Wouldn't **you** like to know?" Damien said with a dark smirk.

Stan, Kyle and Kenny raced after Cartman. Pip turned to Damien as they made their way towards class. "Do you think we were a bit harsh on him, Damien?"

"Nothing is too harsh for that asswipe. We should've killed his cat instead of just his dolls."

**106. Carol**

Pip and Damien sat in the pumpkin patch, waiting. Pip was waiting for the Great Pumpkin, and Damien, curious of the idea, had tagged along. Hearing footsteps approach, the british boy turned towards the source. Craig, Cartman and their respective groups were walking towards them, decked out in their halloween costumes.

"Oh, Damien, look we have visitors!"

Pip rose and practically skipped over to them "Did you fellows come to wait for the great Pumpkin with us? That would be just smashing! We could sing Pumpkin Carols!"

Cartman stepped forward, smirking" Oh, I have a carol for you..."

he cleared his throat and began singing to the tune of 'We wish you a merry christmas'

_You are such a stupid moron._

_It makes people want to punch you!_

_the Great Pumpkin's super gaaaaayyyy_

He grabbed hold of Pip and slammed his fist into his stomach hard four times " _Punch punch punch puch! Frenchie!"_

The group laughed as Pip doubled over on the ground, gasping for air.

"I'll... take that as a no..." Pip said standing and going back to his previous place beside the Antichrist.

Damien glared at them, anger gleaming in his feiry hellish gaze.

"Hey Fat ass, I got a carol for you and your freinds he said, standing and clearing his throat, singing in the same melody Cartman had.

_"You are all going to pay now_

_You screwed with my best freind_

_you shouldn't piss off the Antichrist..._

He summoned fireballs into his hands, getting into a fighting position " _start running away!"_

Pip couldn't help but smile as Damien began chasing their classmates away. Honestly, he hadn't REALLY minded the ridicule, he was long use to it. But Damien tended to be possesive and he hated it when people touched 'his' things.

He layed back amoungst the vines of the pumpkin pach and stared up at the stars, ignoring the panicked screams that were quickly fading as the fourth graders retreated.

**107. Strippers**

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Fine! I'll hire strippers for your bacholar party! Happy now?"

Pip smiled and kissed his cheek "Thanks, Damien! you're the best."

* * *

><p><strong>99. Romance- fluff. win or fail. YOU decide!<strong>

**100. Telephone-Tsk tsk damien...tsk tsk...**

**101. Broom- hahaha cartmans gonna get it**

**102. Silver-no comment**

**103. Knight-No comment**

**104. Twine-no comment**

**105. Pay Back-sequel to scythe**

**106. Carol-yeah that's right. I riped off it's the great pumpkin charlie brown AND the simpsons spoof of it. whatcha gonna do about it, biches!**

**107. Stripper-haha gotcha! you thought it was damien wanting the strippers!**


	12. Chapter 12

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple of paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p>Chapter 11<p>

* * *

><p><strong>108. Manilow<strong>

Pip sat beside Damien on his bed in his room, doing homework. Feeling a bit bored, he looked up at the black haired youth.

"Damien?"

"Yeah?" he asked looking up from his math homework.

"We've been at this for a while, wanna take a break?"

"Sure" he said, closing his book and placing it off to the side. The boys leaned back on the bed, allowing their somewhat stiff backs to relax. They lay there in silence for the better part of 5 minute before Pip cleared his throat and turned to the Antichrist.

"So, Damien, who's your favorite singer?"

"Barry Manilow" he answered without hesitation.

This gave Pip a pause "Barry Manilow?"

"Yes."

"Why Barry Manilow?"

"Because I love his voice and his songs are beautiful."

"I'd have pegged you for the type to listen to hard rock or techno."

"Pip, don't insult me! I'm the son of Satan, not one of those fucktard Goth kids. I listen to REAL music!"

"Oh...okay...I like Barry Manilow too."

"What's your favorite song?"

"I'd have to say it's a tie between 'Mandy' and 'Some Good Things Never Last' "

"Yeah those are my favorite too. I also like 'Can't Cry Without You' "

"Oh, me too!" Pip said putting his arms behind his head as he began whistling the opening whistle. Damien grinned and joined in. "_You know I can't smile without you... I can't smile without you..."_

"**I can't Laugh, and I can't sing. I'm finding it hard to do anything**" Pip sang, taking the second verse.

"_**You see I feel sad, when you're sad. I feel glad when you're glad. If you only knew, what I'm going through...I just smile without you!"**_

The fourth graders giggled hysterically. A knock came from the door as a red skinned demon poked his head in "Damien, Pip. I'm not hearing any studying..." he said scoldingly.

"Sorry, Dad" Damien said, "We're almost done so we were taking a break."

"Well, hurry up and finish, dinner will be ready soon."

"Okay Dad."

"Yes Mr. Satan."

The Prince of Darkness chuckled and shut the door to his son's room. "Kids..."

**109. Gold**

All of my thoughts of black and red  
>around you are gold<p>

That golden sheen to your hair,  
>a sight to behold<p>

Your smile has a golden gleam

Your soul a golden shine

Your eyes a golden twinkle

I want to make you mine.

**110. Repellant**

Damien glared for the umpteenth time that day at the Goths, who were staring hard at him. They'd been following him everywhere, staring at him during class, in the library, the halls, and lunch. Recently they'd gotten it into their heads that since he wore all black, had powers of fire and darkness, and was the Antichrist himself, that he should join their little click.

Naturally this disgusted him, as he was NOTHING like the Goths. If only he had some sort of repellant for such morons.

He groaned as h saw them approaching him from their spot leaning against the wall, "Oh, dear sweet Satan, they're coming over!"

"Hello, Damien! Capital morning isn't it?" came the cheery voice of his best friend, Pip Pirrup as he skipped over to him. The Antichrist waved his hand wearily

"Hey Pi-" Damien started, freezing as a light bulb went off in his head. He gave a smirk.

"Pip...do me a favor..."

"What is it?" the brit asked as Damien drape an arm over his shoulder.

"Turn around and look at those kids dressed in black over there."

"Well, okay, but wh-"

"Just do it."

Pip shrugged and turned to the Goths, flashing his most pleasant, kind smile, "Hello. I'm Pip."

The Goths froze as the blond addressed them.

"IT BURNS!"

"TOO BRIGHT!"

"GAAAAAHHH!"

"MAKE IT GO AWAY!"

The Goths spun around, covering their eyes and running for their lives. Pip blinked as Damien began laughing wholeheartedly.

"Um...Damien...what exactly just happened?"

"Well..." he said as his laughter subsided, "Goths can't stand bright happy-looking things...so you basically just scared them away with your cuteness."

"Is...that a good thing?"

"Yes Pip. It is a very good thing."

"Oh, alrighty then! Wanna play hopscotch?"

**111. Cards**

"Why does everything have a card?"

"What do you mean?"

"Think about it. everything has a trading card."

"No it doesn't..."

"Pokémon, Yugioh, Bakugan, Digimon, Xiaolin Showdown, Dungeons and Dragons, World of Warcraft, Minecraft, Elder scrolls, Full Metal Alchemist, G.I. Joe, Harry Potter, Inuyasha, Kingdom hearts, Lord of the Rings, Mythos, Magi-Nation, Chaotic, Beyblade-"

"Alright! alright, you're right, Damien, everything has a trading card, what's your point?"

"...I dunno, it's just weird."

"Yes. Yes it is."

A long silence.

"We just wasted like 15 seconds of the reader's precious time with this, you know that right?"

"Who cares, the writer was bored."

**112. Bitch**

_"Weeelllll! Kyle's mom's a bitch,_  
><em>she's a big fat bitch<em>  
><em>she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world<em>  
><em>she's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch,<em>  
><em>she's a bitch to all the boys and-<em>

Cartman stopped his rendition of one of his favorite songs as Pip walked over to him.

"Oh, god, what do YOU nerds want?" he asked, looking exasperated.

"You shouldn't sing mean songs like that, Eric!" Pip said, crossing his arms," It's mean and you're hurting Kyle's feelings!"

Cartman rolled his eyes "I shouldn't sing the song about Kyle's ugly fat bitch Jew mom?"

"Yeah especially since everyone knows YOU'RE the fattest bitch in town," Damien said, stepping forward with a smirk.

"...What?" Cartman asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah! You're so fat when you went missing, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton!"

The kids who had gathered around to stare or gawk snickered at this. Cartman spun around on them "Shut up, that's not funny!"

Damien's smirk extended into a grin "You're so fat, you got a Gmail account just to eat the SPAM!"

Even more of the quickly enlarging crowd began laughing. Cartmans cheeks tinged as he whirled around on them, grabbing one of the nearest laughing kids and began shaking him.

"Shut up! SHUT UP!"

Damien nudged Pip with his elbow, encouraging him to join him. Pip cleared his throat

"Um...Eric! You're so fat when you sat on a quarter, a booger shot out of George Washington's nose."

The crowd burst out into guffaws as Cartman pulled at his hair in frustration. "Fuck you guys! I'm not going to stand here and get insulted by a frenchie and a fucking demon!" He yelled, stomping his foot, fighting back tears as he ran back into the schoolhouse.

**113. pissed**

No matter how good the sex had been, no matter how amazingly kinky and exciting, Damien was still pissed at Pip for dragging him into the Janitors closet after calculus for a quickie.

**114. Knew**

"HAHA! I knew it! Pip is French!" Cartman declared, looking at the computer monitor. Damien, and Pip, who had been seated nearby turned to him in annoyance.

"What are you talking about?"

"Look this is Hetalia. It's a TV show about all the different countries in the world."

"Yeah, and?"

"Well, this is England, and THAT'S France! Pip looks and acts just like him!"

Both sat in silence for five seconds. Damien turned to Pip and nodded once. Pip nodded back and raised his hand slowly. Mr. Garrison turned to look at him "Yes, Pip, what is it?"

"Eric is looking up porn, and not his Literature assignment!"

"What!" Mr. Garrison said hurrying over. Damien snapped his fingers, transforming the image on the screen into hard core porn just as the teacher rounded the corner and gaped at the screen "Eric! You should be ashamed of yourself! If you want to look up you moms day job, you do it at home, not in my class! You're going to the principal's office!"

As Cartman was pulled from his seat and dragged out of the classroom, declaring his innocence and screaming threats, Damien and Pip laughed.

"Stupid fatass!"

"Yeah, comparing me to an Anime character!"

"France is way too perverted to be you. If anyone is France, it's Kenny. You're more like Italy."

"Right!"

**115. Without**

Damien tapped his foot almost irritatedly. Pip was taking much longer to get to their bus stop than normal. When he finally heard the familiar patter of Pips feet along the sidewalk, he crossed his arms, keeping his back to him, a scowl on his face.

"You're late."

"I'm sorry Damien...I couldn't find my hat this morning."

The Antichrist turned towards the blonde. Missing its usual cap, the brit's hair seemed longer than normal. Pip shifted uncomfortably.

"What happened to it?"

"I don't know... I think my step mother must have taken it to the wash again." he said as they began walking towards the schoolhouse. He rubbed the top of his head "I wish she'd have told me first...I feel so...naked without it."

Damien smirked as the thought of a naked Pip wearing ONLY his hat popped into his mind.

"Yeah...naked..."

**116. Behind**

Damien, my black devil. Immortal and forever, my friend and confidant. Will I be left behind in the vastness of your eternity? Or will you remember me? If only as a brief player in the great theatre of the world?

Pip, my yellow angel. Mortal and phalible, my consort and friend. Will you forget me in the speedy rat race of your life? So quick, like a candle flicker, doomed to eternity without your smile or companionship? A star too early extinguished as I linger on?

Only time will tell.

* * *

><p><strong><em>sorry if the chapter kinda sucks, I'm sick, so my brain is a little eh...<em>**

**_-MMFG_**

* * *

><p><strong>108. Manilow- I'm addicted to Barry Manilow lately...<strong>

**109. Gold- no comment**

**110. repellant- dahahahaha you all know it's true. pips cuteness is the ultimate goth repellant!**

**111. cards- no comment**

**112. bitch- cartman bashing and fat jokes. always a good combination**

**113. pissed- Gasp! Pip pulling DAMIEN into the closet? What is the world coming to!**

**114. Knew- more cartan bashing**

**115. Without- no comment**

**116. Behind- wow, that's kinda depressing, isn't it?**


	13. Chapter 13

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple of paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p>Chapter 12<p>

* * *

><p><strong>108. Cherry-<strong>

"I'm telling you, Cherry is the best flavor of lolipop."

"No, it's grape."

"Cherry"

"Grape"

"Cherry!"

"Grape!"

"Cherry!"

"Grape!"

"CHERRY!"

"GRAPE!"

As Craige andd Clyde continued their argument, Pip turned to Damien "I'm glad we don't have silly arguments like that."

"Yeah, thank Satan we're not that petty."

**109. Dirt-**

Pip swished the water around his mouth, trying to wash out the taste of dirt. Pip had fallen asleep on the playground- having not gotten much sleep the night before- and some kids thought it would be funny to put dirt in his mouth.

he glanced at the bathroom mirror as he heard the door open. It was Damien.

"Oh, Damien, it's just you."

"I heard what happened. You okay?"

"I'm fine. I'm just having a bit of trouble to get all the sand out of my mouth..."

"Have you tried swishing soda?"

"No, would that help?"

"The carbon will fizzle out the dirt."

"Oh, I'll go get one then, thanks, Damien!"

"No problem" Damien said, going over to the sink and washing his hands, which were covered in a mysterious red substance. Pip glanced at it as his best freind rinsed his hands off.

"Um, Damien, what's that on your hands?"

"Nothing you need to worry about Pip..." he said, his eyes narrowing slightly as he reapplied the soap to his hands and began scrubbing more. "Nothing you need to worry about..."

**110. Mask-**

Damien was honestly surprised how scary Pip could look wearing a home-made Halloween costume. His puss-leaking brain-dripping Zombie costume was MUCH more intimidating than his satan mask.

**111. Eyeliner-**

"Pip...Are you putting on eyeliner?" the 17 year old antichrist asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Um...no..." the blond said, quickly hiding a black tube behind his back, "w-what makes you say that, Damien?"

Damien strode over to him and reached behind him, grabbing the tube "Number one, you're a bad liar. Number two, you smeared. And number three...blue is NOT good color for you. You should use black like me and my dad."

**112. Legend-**

"...And so, the legend had come to pass...and the Vampire Samurais and the Robot Ninjas were banished forever, leaving the people of Shadow Land to live in peace. The end."

The class was silent for a long moment, frozen at the strange story the Antichrist had written for the writing assignment Mr. Garrison had given them. Pip smiled and clapped his hands.

"Riveting story, Damien! Much better than the one Eric wrote about the cheesypoof monsters!"

"Hey!"

**113. Sword-**

I am his sword.

He is my shield

I am his flame

He is my water

I am his Rock

He is my hard place.

I am his ying

He is my yang

seperate we fall, united we stand

As we face the world, hand in hand.

The devil spawn and the outcast.

**114. Secret-**

"Damien...?"

"what is it, Pip?"

"Can you keep a secret?"

"Maybe."

"It's kind of personal."

"Then why are you telling me?"

"Because you're the only one that doesn't make fun of me or bully me."

"Are you comming out to me? People are always doing that!"

"What? No! Everyone already knows I'm bi."

"Then what is it?"

"I...I..."

"Well? I don't have all day!"

"I think...I think I'm in love with someone."

"Who? Butters?"

"No..."

"Bebe?"

"No..."

"Cartman?"

"Bloody Hell, Damien, don't ever suggest something _that_ disgusting!"

"Then who-"

_::Kiss::_

As the blond scurried off asfter pressing his lips against Damiens, his cheeks bright pink, Damien stood frozen in place.

"Well...That's...interesting..."

**115. Trivial-**

"So...thats it?" Pip asked, looking down at his feet. "That's all?"

"Yes."

"that's all you want?"

"You say that like I'm asking or something small."

"After everything I've been through. I could care less about something so trivial..."

"Are you sure? Are you sure you're willing to deal with that?"

"Do you think..." the 9 year old asked, lifting his eyes to the burning reds of those of the demon he stood before. Their feiry gaze burning into his own in a way that made a shiver go down his spine" That I would have summoned you if I wasn't?"

The demon stared at him hard, challenging him "You should think carefully about it...once it's done, it cannot be undone"

Pip bit his bottom lip, worrying it with his teeth. He closed his eyes as he thought about what he'd been told. About everything that had happened to him leading up to this. His parents's deaths... The torture he'd recieved from the other students...Complete and utter humiliation and degradation on all fronts. He had a choice to make. Was he really willing to do this? After several long moments, he opened his eyes.

"I'll take the deal."

"Very well."

Pip's stomach lurched as a ripple of a simutaneously searing and freezing pain ripped through his body. A strange penticle appeared on his neck. Sealing their contract.

The demon knelt beside him as he fell limp to the ground.

"It is done...what do you wish to call me?" he asked, holding out a hand. Pip took his offered hand, allowing it to pull him to his feet and steady his weakened legs.

"Damien...Damien Thorne."

"As you wish...Master."

**116. Guitar-**

Pip wasn't surprised when Damien told him he could play guitar. What he WAS surprised about was how bad he was at it. You'd think the son of Satan would be able to do anything, wouldn't you?

* * *

><p><strong>108. Cherry- lol bet u thought that was damien and Pip<strong>

**109. Dirt- oooh, what's gonna happen next?**

**110. Mask-no comment**

**111. Eyeliner- dahahahahaha! **

**112. Legend- Am I wthe only one who wants to hear the rest of the story?**

**113. Sword- poetry again. Me likey poetry**

**114. Secret- no comment**

**115. Trivial- South Park meets Black Butler! Pip is fed up with the abuse and decides to make a contract with Damien. how wil this turn out? STAY TUNED!**

**116. Guitar- no comment**


	14. Chapter 14

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple of paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry about my absence, I took the holidays off and then i got uninspired so I had to go watch like 50 episodes to get motivated. DAMN YOU, WRITERS BLOCK!"<strong>

* * *

><p>Chapter 14<p>

* * *

><p><strong>117. Antsy<strong>

Pip shifted uneasily from one foot to the other, biting his bottom lip. Damien turned to him, giving him an annoyed look.

"Pip! stop being so damn antsy, you're gonna give us away!"

Pip forced himself to stand still, "I'm sorry, Damien, I-"

"Don't be sorry, be quiet."

The blond reached out, taking Damiens hand, lowering his voice to a whisper. "I'm just nervous...What if we can't do this?"

"Of course we can do this" the antichrist said, waving off his concerns.

"But he's JESUS we're talking about!"

"Big whoop, he always gets away with everything because his dad is God..." he said rolling his eyes at the last part. He glanced up at the window above them. after a few minutes, the window whent dark. Damien turned to his freind, and arguably, his minion, and flashed a wicked thumbs up.

"Okay, he's asleep, let's move!"

000000ooooo000000

Jesus sipped his morning coffee, reading the newspaper, a warm smile on his face, as usual. Glancing at his watch, he stood "OOps, where'd the time go? I'm going to be late for work."

Finishing of his coffee anf folding up the paper under his arm, he headed outside, finding a group of people staring at him. He smiled at them, waving his hand "Good morning, everyone."

the people continued to stare. some looking mortified, some blank, and others looking slightly ammused. Jesus tilted his head to the side, "Is there something on my face?" He turnd his head to the side and something black clung to the white paint of his house.

"What the?"

He ran a few feet torward and turned, looking back at his house. His normaly kind face shifted into a very annoyed and shicked expression. Scrawled onto his house with thick black paint were the words _**"Satan rules, Suck it Jesus!"**_

**118. Genre**

"Pip, what's your favorite movie genre?"

"Um...I don't know...Fantasy I suppose, I do LOVE the Lord of the Rings! Oh! Did you know they made the habbit? It's coming out this december!"Pip said excitedly, bouncing in place."I can't wait to see it!"

Damien sighed, putting his hands on his hips. "Pip, this is January, that's like a whole year away..."

"It's only 11 months" Pip said, not letting the dark haired boy get him down.

"That's still way too long for you to be THIS excited about it."

"Well, I'm looking forward to it. Long live Middle Earth!"

"You're a nerd. LOTR sucked."

"SILENCE, HEATHEN!"

**119. Speakers**

After three hours of trying to assemble and plug in the new speakers for their flat creen tv, Pip was a confusing combination of relieved and pissed when Damien managed to do it in a matter of seconds by snapping his fingers.

So naturally, the black clad demon was unsure when Pip pounced on him if he was going to punch him, or kiss him.

The angery sex that followed had a healthy combination of both.

**120. Rat**

The black rat lay in his cage, looking bored as his owner, a little nerd of a man named Kyle Broflovski, walked in the door. He held a small box in his hand.

"Damien. I brought you something."

The rat stood, shaking itself off. It was probably a big piece of cheese or a new toy for his cage. The red head opened the box and dumped its contents into the cage. It was a small yellowish mouse with dark reddish markings over his back and chest.

The rat stared at the intrudere of his sanctuary and looked up at his owner accusingly. Kyle removed his jacket "I thought you might want some company while I'm at the office or with my clients."

As their owner walked off, the little mouse darted over to the much larger rat and sniffed him excitedly, running around in ahappy circle

"Yay! I get to be a pet! I thought or sure I was going to be snake-food like everyone said! I'm so happy!"

The rat stepped on the mouses tail with his front paw, grabbing it and lifting the ball of energy into the air "Listen, be still! If you're gonna live here, there's three rules you have to follow."

The mouse stilled obediantly as the rat put him back down, listening intently.

"Rule number one, I'M in charge."

"Got it!"

" Rule number two, you do whatever I say."

"Yes sir, commander! What's rule number three?"

"I get first dibs on whatever food Kyle gives us."

"Okay. I'm use to eatting last anyway. Can I play on the wheel?" Pip asked, glancing over at the running device. Damien sighed and released his grip on the mouse's tail.

"This is gonna be a LONG day..."

**121. Spots**

Philip tried to hide the spots of red that came up when he coughed. He didnt' want to worry Damien, his best freind since childhood and sometimes lover. But as he 'accidently' dropped the rag he'd been coughing into moments ago into the fire when Damien had asked or it to clean the small wooden table, one of the few pieces of furniture in their house at the edge of the village, he knew it was only a matter of time before he was found out. And he'd surely reject him by thinking he had the plague like so many other villages nowadays...

Maybe he did. What if it WAS the black death? What if he got Damien sick?

He'd made up his mind. He'd sneak out tonight and leave. He didn't know WHERE he'd go...but he'd rather face the wolves of the forest than the thought of losing Damien.

**122. Play**

"Well children, it looks like our play was a complete success! No thanks to you, Eric" Mr. Garrison said.

"Hey, fuck you, "Kyle's Mom is a Bitch" is a classic!"

THe grey haired man ignored him, turning to Damien and Pip "YOU two in the other hand were very creative. Damien, turning Pip into a giant monster and then fighting him was very impressive. And Pip, you made an excellent monster, very colorful andevil looking."

"Thanks Mr. Garrison" the boys chimed in unison. Damien wrapped an arm around the blonde's shoulder "Told you it would work."

"So you did. Jolly good, Damien! But did you have to stab me so MANY times in the chest? I'm still sore from that sword..."

"The audience liked the blood. Besides, the soreness will go away after a few hours. I healed youright up, didn't I?"

"Yes. I suppose you're right."

"Hey, my dad said we could get pizza after this, wanna come with us?"

"SURE!"

**123. Dull**

"This is dull"

"Really dull"

"We could do WAY better"

"Oh, absolutly"

"We should complain or something"

"I agree, we really should"

"Let's bomb Cartmans house after school"

"Why?"

"It'd be funny."

"We'd get arrested."

"Darn. Well lets switch the heads on the gods when the tour guide looks away, it'll be funny" Damien said as they wandered through the ancient egyptian exhibit on this weeks class field trip.

**124. Comic book**

"Did you ever notice that comic books are never 'comic'? They're pretty dark."

"Especially the DC universe...Joker gets more Psycho every times he's in there."

"Yeah. I don't know why people actlike they're for kids...they're really not."

"People are morons, Pip."

"True."

**125. Rabies**

The class listened as Mr. Garrison talked to them about infectious diseases as part of their health course.

"Alright, class, we've covered the common cold and herpies so lets move on to rabies. Rabies can be recognized in it's more advanced stages by glazed eyes, foaming at the mouth, viscious behavior, the urge to bite uncontrollably, stumbling while walking..."

"Sounds like Kenny when he's getting laid..."Damien muttered to the blond sitting behind him. Pip giggled as Kenny smirked at the Demon "Damn right...I'm kinky bitch."

"I know. You've gone to hell more times than Sex and the City's ratings."

* * *

><p><strong>117. Antsy- HAHAHAHAHAH!<strong>

**118. Genre- this happened to me yesterday while I was at a freinds house and we saw the trailer on I want to see it SOOOOOO badly! Thumbs up if you're addicted to the song that was playing in the trailer!**

**119. Speakers- no comment**

**120. Rat- animals!**

**121. Spots- gasp. what will happen next!**

**122. Play-muahahaha sequel to Pizzaz**

**123. Dull- no comment**

**124. Comic book- another conversation i had theother day**

**125. Rabies- okay, i figure kenny and damien know each other pretty well, since kenny dies so much. so i figured they'd get along.**


	15. Chapter 15

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple of paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p>Chapter 15<p>

* * *

><p><strong>126. Grizzled<strong>

Damien lay on the black silk sheets of his bed, his brow furrowed in deep thought. Only moments before, he had been tossing and turning, waking up in a cold sweat.

Over a nightmare.

Naturaly, as the son of satan, there were very few things that scared Damien. Let alone give him nightmares!

So this...this called for some deep thinking...

The dream had started out fine. He'd been looking for his minion and long-time freind, Pip, with whom he had recently initiated a higher level to their relationship... He'd gone to Pips apartment as usual, to pick him up for some scheme, or perhaps something more intimate, he couldn't remember. He had called out Pip's name. This was where the dream turned odd, as Pip did not answer.

And Pip ALWAYS answered no matter what.

So he began looking for him, exploring the little apartment. Finaly, he went to the blonds bedroom, spotting the telltale lump in the sheets where he lay sleeping. He had sighed with relief and strode over to the bed, reaching down and pulling the sheets back...

Only to find an aged, grizzled old man staring up at him with empty, dead eyes.

He had woken up screaming. Hence, leading him to his current predicament.

What did all that mean? And why did it bother him so much that Pip would die? Of course he knew why...

Pip was a very good boy. So good, that is was possible, even if he wasn't a mormon, that Pip could get into heaven. And then Damien would never see him again.

Clearly someone was telling him he needed to get a move on offering Pip to share in his immortality before it was too late.

**127. Mutant**

"Pip, it's a mutant."

"it is NOT a mutant..."

"It has three heads!"

"So does Cerberus."

"that's different, he's SUPPOSE to have three heads."

"Says you."

"Pip, snakes aren't suppose to have three heads!"

A pout. "It still looks Bloody cool though..."

A sigh. "...Yes. yes it does..." Damien said, rubbing his temples.

This was really the LAST time he let Pip drag him to the Animal Oddites exhibition in Californinia.

**128. Sourpuss**

"Pip. I hate you."

The blonde looked up at the antichrisT, his eyes wide with shock. Until this second, they'd been snuggling on the couch, watching TV.

"What? Why?" he asked anxiously"What did I do?"

"Look at me. I'm snuggling you. Antichrists aren't suppose to snuggle..."

Pip sighed with relief, and gave Damien a crooked smile. "Says who?"

"SaysEeveryone in the world always and forever...You're a mere mortal, not fit to kiss my feet, and here I am snuggling with you...So I hate you."

Despite his words, his body language was completely relaxed. Not even making an attempt to push the british boy away from him.

Pip nuzzled him "Just because you choose to snuggle with someone doesn't make you any less of a terrifying demon, Damien. Thats one of the reason I like being with you. I'm the only one who can. If someone else tried, you'd set them on fire and have the fire demons tear them limb from limb for the sheer audacity."

Damien preened under the compliment "So I'm not going soft?"

"No, Damien. I'll let you know if you're going soft."The blonde assured.

"Good...Cuz if I go soft, I'm totaly killing you in a painful, excruciating manner" Damien said, tugging him closer and tucking the brit's head under his chin.

Pip rolled his eyes and nuzzled Damiens neck again.

**129. Run away**

Phillip felt numb as Damien dragged through the snow-covered forests. He'd caught him trying to sneak out. At first he'd been angry, thinking Phillip was leaving to go meet some secret lover...Phillip had to admit, it was charming that the black haired youth was so possesive. But it also proved to be his downfall, since that display of angery affection was what made him break down into a mess of tears and coughs flecked with blood, and admit to his sickness.

Damien had sat in silence, his expression blank, but his eyes belying his churning thoughts. Many minutes later abruptlystanding and stating that they would go together.

So now here they were, trudging through the snow, heading for the distant village beyond the forests surrounding their own. A wolf howled in the shadows, seemingly only just out of sight. Phillip gasped, tightening his grip on the black haired man holding his hand, of course, the sudden intake of air caused him to go into a fit of coughs. Damien pulled him over and slapped his back, hard. Phillip coughed two more times, but stopped and panted as he caught his breath.

"S-so-sorry Damien..."

Damien rubbed his back "Don't worry about the wolves. I won't let them hurt you."

Phillip shivered as the snow melted and froze around his feet. Damien looked down, noticing his freinds toes were starting to turn blue. He knelt, scooping him up bridal style as he continued walking. Phillip would have protested, but he was very tired, and relieved to be off the cold ground. So he allowed his head to rest against Damien's chest, mumbling a thank you into his shoulder before dozing off against the warm body.

He never noticed Damien's eyes glowing a dim red as the moon peaked out from behind the branch of a tree. Never questioned why the wolves, while hungry, kept far away from the dark haired man.

For Damien had some secrets of his own...

**130. Leopard**

Pip, Damien Decided after watching his latest game of Dodgeball in preparations for the up and coming grand championship game, had really ought to be a leopard.

Firstly he had yellow hair...Secondly he had black marks (bruises, from being picked on which infuriated the Antichrist to no end)... Thirdly, he was pretty to look at and Damien foud himself staring at him a lot... And lastly, he was a dangerous powerful beast of destruction when he was angered.

**131. Cheesey Poofs**

Damien the rat, despite a few difference, was admittedly getting kinda attached to Pip the mouse. The mouse's excitable, innocent nature often proved ammusing when their owner left for the day. Zipping around the glass tank, running that poor exercise wheel so hard once it actually came OFF it's rack and the poor mouse had crashed into one of the walls of their enclosed space. Despite suffering several bruises and a twisted ankle from the crash, the mouse had mantained his positive attitude. More recently, Damien had managed (and HOW the little mouse would probably never know) gotten their owner to purchase a large hampster ball in which for them to run around on the floor to get exercise while he was at work.

What the redhead was NOT aware of was that Damien had figured out how to open the ball and wander the house as he pleased. Pip of course was especially pleased as he liked to run around so much and the carpet was so SOFT against his paws.

One morning, after they had escaped from their ball and their owner who was gone, and thus could not interfere, Damien decided it was time to put Pips excess energy to good use.

"Pip."

"Yes Damien?" the little yellow mouse asked, looking up from the peanut he'd found on the floor under the edge of the couch.

"Come here."

The mouse obeyed, going over to the rat "What is it?"

"I have a job for you."

"What is it?" pip squeeked eagerly. Damien pointed with his nose up at the high shelf on the wall near their cage.

"You see that little yellow bag?"

"the one with the orange things on it?

"Yes. those are cheesey poofs. I want you to climb up there and knock over the bag so we can eat some."

"OKay. May I ask you a question?"

"You may" the rat conceeded as he led the mouse over to the thin stand of yawn hanging from the basket of knitting supplies also sitting on the shelf that happened to be dangling.

"Why can't you get it yourself?"

"I'm to heavy to climb all the way up there without accidently pulling the ball of yarn out of the basket and that would be counterproductive."

"Oh" he said, his whiskers twitching in understanding. "I'll be right back!" he said as he grabbed hold of the yarn, easily and hastily making his way up the strand without upseting the ball it was attached to too much. once he reached the top, it was a simple matter of going behind the bag and using his tiny body to bounce against the bag and send it clattering to the floor with a crinkle of plastic , several dozen balls of the treatrolling onto the carpet.

"Nice!" Damien said, giving as much of a grin as he could muster as the mouse climbed back down the yawn thread and scurried over to the larger black rodent, eyeing the cheesey snack hungrily as the rich tangy scent of cheese reached his nose.

"Shall we?"

"Let's..."

000000ooooo000000

When Kyle returned home that evening, he was frustrated when he noticed his bag of cheesypoofs had fallen off the shelf and scattered all over the floor. what he DIDN'T notice, was how fat and conent both of his pets were as he put them back in their cage after tsking them out of their Hampster ball.

**132. Mending**

Damien stood, looking pissed, as his young 5 year old son sat embarassed, with tear stains down his face, on the stool in the nurses office,covered with bandages wearing in nothing but a shirt and his tidy whities as Pip sat in the chair mending his clothes. They'd gotten shredded when Malcolm Cartman, a boy in Lucifers class, had gotten the idea in his head that it was okay to push the young immortal boy down the hill into a patch of briars.

Once the teachers had finaly found Lucifer, parents had been called. Principle Garrison, who'd gotten promotion about 7 years ago, was currently in a conference with Eric Cartman and his wife Wendy.

"Mommy, are you done yet?" Lucifer asked, looking at the blonde man.

"Almost Luci," Pip said as he worked on the last few stitches on the pants.

Damien growled "I ought to KILL that fat bastard Cartman for raising such a brat! How dare he try to harm MY son? I am the Antichrist! Mark my words someone is going to pay DEARLY for this unmedicated insult!"

"I know, I know, they shall suffer the wrath of the unholy son of Satan for this indignaty..."Pip said as he stood, biting off the thread from his needle and holding out the newly stiched pants. "Okay Luci, here you go."

The 5 year old snatched the pants away, hastily putting them on, "Thanks mommy"

Pip pulled him into his lap and kissed his forehead. Mr. Macky poked his head into the room

" Uh...The principle wants to see the three of you now, M'kay?"

Damien snorted "About damn time, I'm gonna give that bastard a piece of my mind."

Lucifer looked up at his mother as he was put down onto the floor, holding his hand tightly "Mommy, why is Daddy so crazy?"

Pip sighed, brushing his bangs out of his face as he followed the raging demon down the hall "Because he loves you very much and all daddys go crazy when someone they love is hurt."

"Oh, okay" the kindergardner said as they entered the principles office.

**133. Nutshell**

"So in a nutshell, Mr. Satan sir, Damien has turned his classmates into duck billed Platupi no less than ten times in the past week alone."

"Well, boys will be boys," Satan said with a shrugg "I'll tell the tyke to turn them back and tell him not to do it again."

Mr. Garrison gave him an incredulous look. " Sir, you don't understand, their parents are very disgruntled, they want you to discipline your child.

"I'm Satan. I encourage this sort of behavior."

"Yes, but-"

"So shut up. I'll raise my child as i see fit."

"What, how dare you speak to me that way!"

"I'll speak to you any way I want! I'm satran."

"Well, I'm a teacher and you have to treat me with respect."

"I don't have to do anything but stay red and die."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"It would if you watched Red vs Blue. com !"

Damien looked over at Pip from the voodoo dolls they were playing with. "Pip, why are you adevertising a webseries during our game?"

Pip looked down at his satan figurine, looking perplexed "I...don't...know..."

**134. Cellular**

Damien glanced at the pink cellular phone his father had given him for his 16th birthday

"It's pink..."

"I thought pink was your favorite color."

"black is my favorite color. Pink is my second favorite."

"So what the problem?" Satan asked, looking down at his now 16 year old son, his eyes wide with concern. Damien looked up at his huge father and gave crooked smile "Nothing Dad. It's great...Thanks."

The large red demon beamed "I'm glad you like it."

" Yeah. I'm gonna go add Pip's number and then let's go out for pizza."

* * *

><p><strong>126. Grizzled-premonitons. even antichrists have them.<strong>

**127. Mutant- check it out. it's a real thing.**

**128. Sourpuss-hahaha, damien getting all pouty durring snuzzles.**

**129. runaway- A sequel to Spots**

**130. Leopard- no comment**

**131. Cheesey Poofs- Sequel to "Rat". oh, damien, you clever thing you...! Pip mouse is unstappable!**

**132. Mending- What's this? another part of the 'Lucifer' shorts? D8 omg i amaze even myself!**

**133. Nutshell- i have a better question...why are they playing with voodoodolls of Satan and Mr Garrison?...and why is Pip Satan? o_0**

**134. Celluar- semi- prequel to "Pens" from chapter 7**


	16. Chapter 16

Anthology of DIP is a collection of short stories based on prompts given to me by freinds, readers, and my own brain thought process thingies. And length of said stories will range from a couple of paragraphs, to a sentance or two.

AU

GENDERBEND

OOC MOMENTS

And LOT'S MORE!

will be featured

* * *

><p>Chapter 16<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry to report that due to Chronic Lack of Inspiration and extended Real Life issues, that this fic will be under hiatus until the time I deem it possible to pick it back up.<strong>

**I'm sorry to all my readers who wanted a new chapter, but nothing i wrote for this chapter seemed to work. I hope you'll continue to read any future fanfiction I am working on or have completed but this one is no longer going to be updated for the time being**


End file.
